Re: Subculture specific flirting

[BasedBuzzed]

If the problem is that you're taking her life less seriously than your own, you can simply skid around it by not taking your own life seriously either. Luckily, with these canned but uncanny openers, you are sure to either make her laugh or get books/sculptures/dirty laundry thrown at your head.

Bookstores: ask her if she can distract the shop attendant while you put all the religious books in the fiction section.

Art galleries: ask her opinion on Interior Semiotics.

Laundry: ask her if you can borrow a cup of detergent, wink wink nudge nudge.

[eselle28]

If the problem is that you're taking her life less seriously than your own, you can simply skid around it by not taking your own life seriously either. Luckily, with these canned but uncanny openers, you are sure to either make her laugh or get books/sculptures/dirty laundry thrown at your head.

Bookstores: ask her if she can distract the shop attendant while you put all the religious books in the fiction section.

Art galleries: ask her opinion on Interior Semiotics.

Laundry: ask her if you can borrow a cup of detergent, wink wink nudge nudge.

I'm not really sure how that's taking your own life less seriously. It's just a set of pickup lines. The man still gets what he wants. If the woman really doesn't like being stuck in the Girlfriend Zone every time she goes outside, she still gets another dose of it.

Which doesn't mean all those pickup lines pr situations are unethical, just that they fall into the same trap as described. Oh, and one of them is a pretty lousy thing to do to someone else. I'd roll my eyes at the first one and probably just shrug and move on after the second, since I don't get the reference. The third one, though? I hate being hit on while I do laundry, and I think all I could really summon up to that would be begrudgingly offering you a cup of detergent if you didn't actually have any and then cringing and staring at my phone for the next hour while I tried to send out mental vibrations that I had become invisible. The laundromat is a terrible place to hit on someone, and it's one of the few where a so-blatant-it's-maybe-funny line is going to be worse than a more subtle touch, since your target can't leave.

[reboot]

If the problem is that you're taking her life less seriously than your own, you can simply skid around it by not taking your own life seriously either. Luckily, with these canned but uncanny openers, you are sure to either make her laugh or get books/sculptures/dirty laundry thrown at your head.

Bookstores: ask her if she can distract the shop attendant while you put all the religious books in the fiction section.

Art galleries: ask her opinion on Interior Semiotics.

Laundry: ask her if you can borrow a cup of detergent, wink wink nudge nudge.

I'm not really sure how that's taking your own life less seriously. It's just a set of pickup lines. The man still gets what he wants. If the woman really doesn't like being stuck in the Girlfriend Zone every time she goes outside, she still gets another dose of it.

Which doesn't mean all those pickup lines pr situations are unethical, just that they fall into the same trap as described. Oh, and one of them is a pretty lousy thing to do to someone else. I'd roll my eyes at the first one and probably just shrug and move on after the second, since I don't get the reference. The third one, though? I hate being hit on while I do laundry, and I think all I could really summon up to that would be begrudgingly offering you a cup of detergent if you didn't actually have any and then cringing and staring at my phone for the next hour while I tried to send out mental vibrations that I had become invisible. The laundromat is a terrible place to hit on someone, and it's one of the few where a so-blatant-it's-maybe-funny line is going to be worse than a more subtle touch, since your target can't leave.

I have got to second laundromat as a place to catch people in possibly the worst mood ever. The idea that you are chained to the machine because some assclown might move or take your clothes. Maybe people are slightly less hostile in dorm settings, but my experience with laundromats tended more to the hostile.

[BasedBuzzed]

If the problem is that you're taking her life less seriously than your own, you can simply skid around it by not taking your own life seriously either. Luckily, with these canned but uncanny openers, you are sure to either make her laugh or get books/sculptures/dirty laundry thrown at your head.

Bookstores: ask her if she can distract the shop attendant while you put all the religious books in the fiction section.

Art galleries: ask her opinion on Interior Semiotics.

Laundry: ask her if you can borrow a cup of detergent, wink wink nudge nudge.

I'm not really sure how that's taking your own life less seriously. It's just a set of pickup lines. The man still gets what he wants. If the woman really doesn't like being stuck in the Girlfriend Zone every time she goes outside, she still gets another dose of it.

Which doesn't mean all those pickup lines pr situations are unethical, just that they fall into the same trap as described. Oh, and one of them is a pretty lousy thing to do to someone else. I'd roll my eyes at the first one and probably just shrug and move on after the second, since I don't get the reference. The third one, though? I hate being hit on while I do laundry, and I think all I could really summon up to that would be begrudgingly offering you a cup of detergent if you didn't actually have any and then cringing and staring at my phone for the next hour while I tried to send out mental vibrations that I had become invisible. The laundromat is a terrible place to hit on someone, and it's one of the few where a so-blatant-it's-maybe-funny line is going to be worse than a more subtle touch, since your target can't leave.

They are all unethical in the sense that they are terrible or too obscure to work and run the risk of people actually believing it is legit banter instead of deliberate unfunniness.

1st: this will parse as r/atheism to the demographic this forum falls into(and is probably trying to get with if single)
2nd: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/interior-semiotics
3rd: since 'borrowing a cup of sugar' has 10 different meanings these days, people still won't get the parody-http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MayIBorrowACupOfSugar

My apologies. I was half afraid I wasn't using enough smileys/sarcasm, so in a way, this man certainly didn't get what he wanted.

Anyway, back to your regular scheduled thread, and to all who might have taken this as advice, don't try this at home(mainly because they wouldn't even make sense in that context).

[reboot]

.....

They are all unethical in the sense that they are terrible or too obscure to work and run the risk of people actually believing it is legit banter instead of deliberate unfunniness.

1st: this will parse as r/atheism to the demographic this forum falls into(and is probably trying to get with if single)
2nd: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/interior-semiotics
3rd: since 'borrowing a cup of sugar' has 10 different meanings these days, people still won't get the parody-http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MayIBorrowACupOfSugar

My apologies. I was half afraid I wasn't using enough smileys/sarcasm, so in a way, this man certainly didn't get what he wanted.

Anyway, back to your regular scheduled thread, and to all who might have taken this as advice, don't try this at home(mainly because they wouldn't even make sense in that context).

I think this brings up a good point that may merit its own thread: subculture specific dynamics. Much of what is OK/not OK is dictated by ingroup norms.

For example, someone earlier mentioned frat bros being crude and sexist and still getting dates, but missed the fact that the women they are getting together with are from the same subculture. Those methods would not work on women from a different subculture or for men from a different subculture using it on the fratbro subculture women. Another example would be the punk scene when I was young. In that subculture, spitting on people was an accepted flirting mechanism. It would not work out well at all in a different subculture.

[Werel]

Another example would be the punk scene when I was young. In that subculture, spitting on people was an accepted flirting mechanism. It would not work out well at all in a different subculture.

A+ example. I remember being twitterpated half to death when a frontman I had a big crush on threw up on me at a show in high school. I don't think that would work out in most other scenarios.

[eselle28]

Another example would be the punk scene when I was young. In that subculture, spitting on people was an accepted flirting mechanism. It would not work out well at all in a different subculture.

A+ example. I remember being twitterpated half to death when a frontman I had a big crush on threw up on me at a show in high school. I don't think that would work out in most other scenarios.

A profession-specific one: "Of course he knew you were asking him on a date. You don't celebrate finding out you passed the bar with just anyone." That statement was followed by universal agreement from everyone listening, and later confirmation from the dude himself.

[AtlachNacha]

For example, someone earlier mentioned frat bros being crude and sexist and still getting dates, but missed the fact that the women they are getting together with are from the same subculture. Those methods would not work on women from a different subculture or for men from a different subculture using it on the fratbro subculture women. Another example would be the punk scene when I was young. In that subculture, spitting on people was an accepted flirting mechanism. It would not work out well at all in a different subculture.

So... this is one of those moments when a bunch of things click all at once and I feel kind of stupid and yet happy that I now understand at the same time. Thank you, reboot, that was a very good explanation!

Also this thread makes me immediately think of the fabled "Nice boots, wanna fuck?": http://gothic-charm-school.com/charm/?p=32

[reboot]

For example, someone earlier mentioned frat bros being crude and sexist and still getting dates, but missed the fact that the women they are getting together with are from the same subculture. Those methods would not work on women from a different subculture or for men from a different subculture using it on the fratbro subculture women. Another example would be the punk scene when I was young. In that subculture, spitting on people was an accepted flirting mechanism. It would not work out well at all in a different subculture.

So... this is one of those moments when a bunch of things click all at once and I feel kind of stupid and yet happy that I now understand at the same time. Thank you, reboot, that was a very good explanation!

Also this thread makes me immediately think of the fabled "Nice boots, wanna fuck?": http://gothic-charm-school.com/charm/?p=32

Glad it helped clarify things and ah yes, I have actually heard that line used semi-seriously in the wild in my goth days

So Atlach, you are a bit niche for where you live, so maybe some of us who are/were in the same niche might be able to help you out with signaling interest/sending signals of interest to other niche members (assuming you want to date in the subculture)? My stuff is probably totally outdated (and involved a lot of really dark, usually bad poetry), but maybe others can help?

[Guest]

This seems a relevant enough a thread to ask this: would there be a general 'geek / nerd culture' form of flirting? Or at least any trends people here have noticed?

I don't actually hang around with many geeks or nerds at all, outside my two best friends. I don't really see much in the way of 'flirting' as a result.

I realise this might be a vague question, but I'm interested what people on here think about it.

[readertorider]

I haven't had much success with my flirting(?) beyond some banter/friendships, so maybe I'm not the best person to comment, but I like to create random teams/vendettas/challenges within board/video games for flirtee and I. Generally just paying more attention to one person. There's a line to walk between amusing vs. excluding the rest of the group but usually when it works it can be quite fun

Also inventing new chess variants with people.

Also making references that you know other person will get--TV show, past adventures, whatever--even/especially if they know it's not your thing.

Also poking/pillow fighting/pranking/bumping into/touching etc. though I'm 98% sure these are terrible childish strategies (but fun! so very fun!).

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