Personal ramifications of hiring a sex worker

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Post by Guest on Sun May 03, 2015 2:13 pm

I wasn't sure where to put this, but I read this today:

http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1598-6-lessons-i-learned-losing-my-virginity-to-prostitute.html

Sums up my qualms about hiring a sex worker on top of it being expensive. I know in the article the context is that they're going to a girl who also probably didn't have a say in whether or not she wanted to enter the sex industry. And they're going about hiring this girl through shady channels, yes, but I myself being Hispanic... well, this article resonated with me.

Reminded me how fucked up my culture can be to both genders.

Thankfully, no one has hired a sex worker on my behalf and I haven't had to hire one either. No, I have not experienced anything quite like the author in this article did, I can't even imagine how bad the writer felt. D:

What do you guys think?

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Post by eselle28 on Sun May 03, 2015 2:31 pm

I tended to read it less as a condemnation of sex work or having a first sexual experience with a sex worker and more as a story about having sex for the wrong reasons, with the wrong person, at at the wrong point in life. That might be because Marcos's feelings about the experience reminded me a lot of those of some people I know who didn't have sex with sex workers, but who have these sort of sad, emotionally distanced stories about having sex because their peer group pressured them (or, in some cases, because they just assumed their peer group expected it of them) even though they weren't all that personally motivated to have sex or interested in their sexual partner.

There's also the issue of the sex worker's questionable consent, but I'd note that seems to be inserted by the writer rather than something Marcos highlighted himself or mentioned as being disturbing to him. It seems like a more negative aspect of the experience is that he was being constantly asked to do this by older men he respected, when it sounds like he wasn't ready to be having sex with anyone. In any case, I think it's probably good and important to highlight that sex isn't always a great experience for guys, especially since they get a strong message from society that they should want it constantly, at any time, and with any reasonably attractive woman.
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Post by Suika on Sun May 03, 2015 2:49 pm

I have given the prospect some thought, but since I'm very hesitant about it, I think it's for the best that I don't do it. I don't condemn the practice in itself though.
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Post by Guest on Sun May 03, 2015 5:32 pm

eselle28 wrote:I tended to read it less as a condemnation of sex work or having a first sexual experience with a sex worker and more as a story about having sex for the wrong reasons, with the wrong person, at at the wrong point in life. That might be because Marcos's feelings about the experience reminded me a lot of those of some people I know who didn't have sex with sex workers, but who have these sort of sad, emotionally distanced stories about having sex because their peer group pressured them (or, in some cases, because they just assumed their peer group expected it of them) even though they weren't all that personally motivated to have sex or interested in their sexual partner.

Right, that's what I thought too reading this. I knew from the get go that it wasn't a piece condemning prostitution, especially considering its legal in El Salvador where Marco is based in. Although I do think it's a mix of having sex for the wrong reasons and having sex with a sex worker for the first time, though it does lean more towards sex for the wrong reasons.

Now that you mention it, reminds me of a female friend of mine who mentioned she regretted her first time too and that was with her then boyfriend too I believe.

eselle28 wrote:
There's also the issue of the sex worker's questionable consent, but I'd note that seems to be inserted by the writer rather than something Marcos highlighted himself or mentioned as being disturbing to him. It seems like  a more negative aspect of the experience is that he was being constantly asked to do this by older men he respected, when it sounds like he wasn't ready to be having sex with anyone. In any case, I think it's probably good and important to highlight that sex isn't always a great experience for guys, especially since they get a strong message from society that they should want it constantly, at any time, and with any reasonably attractive woman.

Well I dunno, all I know is that I'd be weirded out by seeing a gorram wood box with hand exchanging money with me.

However, I completely agree with the bolded bit. As an example, my little brother is at about the age Marco's brother is and I haven't filled up his head with the same ideas or pressure him like other older men have towards other boys my brother's age have. My brother hasn't asked me about sex stuff so I haven't had to tell him anything, but the one thing I have told him is, "It's cool, I'm your brother you can talk to me about this stuff." I wouldn't be surprised if he's shy about it too like me, but I will say this, he's doing a much better job than I am. He's real good friend with two girls at school, which is dope to hear. Razz

Suika wrote:I have given the prospect some thought, but since I'm very hesitant about it, I think it's for the best that I don't do it. I don't condemn the practice in itself though.

I'm hesitant for some of the same reasons Marco was in the article. I'm not gonna have sex with someone I'm not friends with, or at the very least someone I don't like or am sorta friendly with. My mantra has always been I'll have sex with someone who I care about and cares about me the same, or is at least cool with seeing me in the most physically vulnerable of forms.

And for your comic relief...
Personal ramifications of hiring a sex worker Latest?cb=20130511141123

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Post by BasedBuzzed on Sun May 03, 2015 10:27 pm

A round on the local sex worker blogs puts an estimation on the price of a decent session at something like 150-200 euro for an hour, and going by what's in the windows in Amsterdam, the aesthetic is just plain unappealing. The price is basically 3 nights out trying to hook up at gigs/parties(transportation, booze, event tickets, etcetera), and I'll reckon I'd have more fun solo sarging while utterly failing than paying to get laid.

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Post by Guest on Mon May 04, 2015 11:05 am

150 to 200 euros? -does math- Jeez that's about $167~ to $223~.

Yeah no, too much for me; even though one hour is all you will need. Razz I mean, not against hiring a sex worker at all, but they're too expensive for my blood (and illegal in California, except for sex surrogates, they're legal).

Chances are I may hire a surrogate but much later in life if I can't get laid in the next 20 years. Razz

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Post by reboot on Mon May 04, 2015 11:42 am

Technically you could go to Mexico where it is legal as long as the woman is over 18. Although trafficking and coercion is rife even in places where prostitution is legal, so due diligence is in order.

As an FYI here are the places prostitution is legal/decriminalized
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Post by fakely mctest on Mon May 04, 2015 2:24 pm

I also just listened to an interesting story about $pread: the Best of the Magazine that Illuminated the Sex Industry and Started a Media Revolution on On the Media this week. Might be worth checking out for an alternative perspective. It definitely went on my to-read list after listening.

(story is here)

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Post by Guest on Mon May 04, 2015 2:57 pm

reboot wrote:Technically you could go to Mexico where it is legal as long as the woman is over 18. Although trafficking and coercion is rife even in places where prostitution is legal, so due diligence is in order.

As an FYI here are the places prostitution is legal/decriminalized

Yes, absolutely; another reason why I'm wary of prostitution on top of it being expensive and me not being too sure if thats how I want my first time to go. D:

Aaand as usual, the U.S. being in that legal gray area. Razz

fakely mctest wrote:I also just listened to an interesting story about $pread: the Best of the Magazine that Illuminated the Sex Industry and Started a Media Revolution on On the Media this week.  Might be worth checking out for an alternative perspective.  It definitely went on my to-read list after listening.

(story is here)

I read a few articles on Cracked (hey I like that site, shaddup Razz) about prostitution and it is indeed a very interesting practice. Since almost everyone in it comes from different walks of life or gets into it for one reason or another from horrifying drug habits to it's simply good money. There was one woman in an article who talked about how some of the guys who hired her didn't even have sex with her, they just wanted to talk and she got paid a hefty amount for it.

So I might check out your book too if I can find it. Razz

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Post by fakely mctest on Mon May 04, 2015 9:28 pm

The Mikey wrote:
fakely mctest wrote:I also just listened to an interesting story about $pread: the Best of the Magazine that Illuminated the Sex Industry and Started a Media Revolution on On the Media this week.  Might be worth checking out for an alternative perspective.  It definitely went on my to-read list after listening.

(story is here)

I read a few articles on Cracked (hey I like that site, shaddup Razz) about prostitution and it is indeed a very interesting practice. Since almost everyone in it comes from different walks of life or gets into it for one reason or another from horrifying drug habits to it's simply good money. There was one woman in an article who talked about how some of the guys who hired her didn't even have sex with her, they just wanted to talk and she got paid a hefty amount for it.

So I might check out your book too if I can find it. Razz

The thing I really like about $pread (as I understand it! I'm currently testing the bounds of the local interlibrary loan system as the nearest copy to me is 432 miles away since the Library of Congress unhelpfully does not loan out books Crying) is that it was written by sex workers and, as such, privileges their voices and experiences. The editor interviewed in the radio story talks about getting a critical letter from the ed. in chief for Bitch magazine at the time when they ran an interview where a sex worker explicitly said she wasn't a feminist because, in her view, all feminists were white women who grew up in the suburbs.

They also talk a bit about the reality show 8 Minutes which sounds sort of horrifying.

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Post by reboot on Mon May 04, 2015 9:38 pm

fakely mctest wrote:

They also talk a bit about the reality show 8 Minutes which sounds sort of horrifying.

Ugh. That is horrifying :/
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