Missing hints?

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Missing hints? Empty Missing hints?

Post by gaboz on Fri May 15, 2015 7:22 am

After someone posted this epic SubReddit, which i still reading; comedy gold stuff in there, it made me think:

Did I miss the signs or no-one was really that forthcoming to me?

Both outcomes are quite scary.

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Post by Andrew Corvero on Fri May 15, 2015 8:03 am

Did I miss the signs or no-one was really that forthcoming to me?

Probably you missed some subtler signs at times.

Until not too long ago I was the king of missing hints, if that makes you feel better! I pretty much always assumed that all girls who were dropping anvil-sized hints on my head were just being friendly.

A couple of funny stories:

She: "Do you have a girlfriend?" I: "No, why do you ask?" She: "I could try to set you up with someone..." (she leans towards me and smiles) I: "That's very kind of you! Thanks!"

Verdict: Disapproving

She: "You look great with a beard! Can I touch it?" I: "Sure, why not" She: "I like it a lot, it's fluffy! But I bet it can get in the way when you kiss someone..." I: "Yeah, sometimes it does!"  

Verdict: Facepalm

She (a German girl): "Have you ever dated a German girl?" I: "No, but I'd love to try!" She: "Maybe you'll be very lucky" I: "Thanks! Maybe I will!"

Verdict:  Headsmack

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Post by Guest on Fri May 15, 2015 9:23 am

Andrew Corvero wrote:She: "You look great with a beard! Can I touch it?" I: "Sure, why not" She: "I like it a lot, it's fluffy! But I bet it can get in the way when you kiss someone..." I: "Yeah, sometimes it does!"  

Verdict: Facepalm

It's comment like these ones that make me wonder if we're all in some kind of lame, cosmic sitcom. Laughing

But when it comes to hints I could have missed, well, I don't feel like I've missed much. I seem to have a decent grasp at conversational hints, however I default to not-hints to be safe.

I'm absolutely brain dead when it comes to visual indicators and I don't like being touched. Makes things challenging to say the least.

But I've been told women have tried to hit on me before and I've shared a story or two here that seemed to ring some 'yeap, could be into you' bells. I just wish I could actually perceive this stuff in the moment instead of floundering afterwards and relying on others to confirm things.

All that said and done, I agree with Andrew. Chances are, gaboz, you've merely missed some hints thrown your way.

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Post by Guest on Fri May 15, 2015 10:35 am

In another thread, I said how much I suck at picking up hints. So much so, that when I actually try to pick up hints... well, it turns out I'm always wrong. -shrug-

And so far, I don't think I've had many people "flirt" with me. Or maybe they were and I simply just didn't notice. Razz

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Post by PintsizeBro on Fri May 15, 2015 11:21 am

I'm better at picking up hints than I used to be, but I'm still not great at it. I think my worst example was when a classmate gave me her number to start a study group and then also said, "And hey, maybe we should hang out other than studying." The study group never got off the ground, and I never asked her to hang out at any other time either. Headsmack

Incidentally, one of the things I like about my girlfriend is that she's incredibly straightforward and doesn't drop hints.

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Post by Hirundo Bos on Fri May 15, 2015 11:36 am

The thing about not picking up hints is, its logically not easy to know how many times it happens. I'm quite certain, for my part, that "not even noticing hints" is one of several mysterious reasons why so little has happened in my love-and/or-sexlife the past ten years... and I think the same can easily be the case with others...

I think I could fill a thread of my own with hilarious-in-retrospect stories of hints I've partly missed (for the ones I missed completely, see above), but to take one, there was this girl in Norwegian-equivalent-of-high-school that

- at a class outing, came to my hotel room while everyone else was partying, because she needed a quiet place to study
- in the summer, came for a surprise visit to where I lived, saying she'd coe for another one some day (though she didn't)
- in class, chose the seat next to me, and one day, sat at my lap while singing "Hirundo, Hirundo, my dear Hirundo".

And I was thinking "hmm, wonder if she's trying to tell me something?" But I wasn't certain enough to do anything about it myself.
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Post by Andrew Corvero on Fri May 15, 2015 12:01 pm

I was even more terrible at picking up hints in high school. I used to believe I was far too unattractive for anyone to consider me so even when a girl I found very attractive asked me to "practice dancing", got really close to me and grabbed my butt I still thought she was either making fun of me or simply being at ease with a non-threatening man.

After a couple of weeks one of her friends laughed at me and asked me if I was gay, but I still didn't make the connection because I just thought that it was impossible that she could be attracted to me.

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Post by litterature on Fri May 15, 2015 3:46 pm

Ahaha, I'm pretty sure I'm the champion here. I once missed a hint as subtle as "maybe we should hang out sometime? like grab some coffee and stuff?".

*puts shades on*

(luckily this was years ago)

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Post by Guest on Fri May 15, 2015 4:27 pm

Hirundo Bos wrote:
- in class, chose the seat next to me, and one day, sat at my lap while singing "Hirundo, Hirundo, my dear Hirundo".

And I was thinking "hmm, wonder if she's trying to tell me something?" But I wasn't certain enough to do anything about it myself.

Laughing

That's really funny and really cute.

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Post by Jayce on Mon May 18, 2015 12:36 pm

Not sure if this is an actual missing hint, but I was at work today and there was this new co worker and I decided to get to know her. I talked to her a bit, we were talking about how old we are, then she said "you graduated 2 years before me". I was like what, how did you know I was 20? She told me she was 2 grades below me in high school. I said I didn't even know you back then. It's probably someone else? No it can't be me. She said, it was you, you studied at the library a lot during every lunch time.

All the evidence points to me really, since nobody really went in the library at lunch times, and I was there a lot because I had no one else to talk to or interact with. I didn't believe her for quite a couple of minutes, since I was quite invisible in high school, how did she notice me anyway? It's not like I had anything interesting about me, nor was I getting a lot of attention, I just sat in my own corner passively and kept to myself. Out of everyone from high school why did she remember me? Some guy that never even interacted with her once? I don't think half of my grade remembers who I am, certainly I don't remember anyone much that I never interacted with during high school. Well good thing is, at least someone noticed I existed back then.

Maybe if I noticed her noticing me back then, we could've been friends or maybe dated.

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Post by Conreezy on Tue May 19, 2015 12:02 am

Years ago, I went out with a very attractive woman (and other friends). We crashed at another person's house after a night of partying, and she said to me, "you're in my bed."

So we slept together--literally. No sex or any physical contact, for that matter. I made no move whatsoever, thinking that there was no way she was into me.

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Post by The Wisp on Tue May 19, 2015 1:34 am

Conreezy wrote:Years ago, I went out with a very attractive woman (and other friends). We crashed at another person's house after a night of partying, and she said to me, "you're in my bed."

So we slept together--literally.  No sex or any physical contact, for that matter.  I made no move whatsoever, thinking that there was no way she was into me.  

You know, if somebody is going to be that brazen in initiating anyway, they might as well go all the way and just bluntly ask for sex.
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Post by Guest on Tue May 19, 2015 1:51 am

The Wisp wrote:
Conreezy wrote:Years ago, I went out with a very attractive woman (and other friends). We crashed at another person's house after a night of partying, and she said to me, "you're in my bed."

So we slept together--literally.  No sex or any physical contact, for that matter.  I made no move whatsoever, thinking that there was no way she was into me.  

You know, if somebody is going to be that brazen in initiating anyway, they might as well go all the way and just bluntly ask for sex.

I always kind of thought the same. That apprehension to to really follow through on a thought like that obviously gets in the way of the most brazen approaches, It would seem. The invisible wall of implication.

I do have to laugh at statements like that: "you're in my bed." That kind of thing immediately makes me default to "Oh, no, I'm good by myself" no matter the context. Laughing

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Post by Andrew Corvero on Tue May 19, 2015 9:04 am

Conreezy wrote:So we slept together--literally.  No sex or any physical contact, for that matter.  

I've done that many times with a friend of mine but I wasn't into her and I really don't think she was into me. It was just a matter of being so relaxed around each other that we treated each other more like relatives than like friends.

It's different if it's someone that you don't know that well, of course.

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Post by Conreezy on Tue May 19, 2015 10:30 am

The Wisp wrote:
Conreezy wrote:Years ago, I went out with a very attractive woman (and other friends). We crashed at another person's house after a night of partying, and she said to me, "you're in my bed."

So we slept together--literally.  No sex or any physical contact, for that matter.  I made no move whatsoever, thinking that there was no way she was into me.  

You know, if somebody is going to be that brazen in initiating anyway, they might as well go all the way and just bluntly ask for sex.

Yeah, sure, but still, that's a hell of a hint. I don't know what I was thinking. It wasn't like we were really old friends who were that comfortable with each other--we worked together for a couple months.

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