[adv]Dealing with possibly depressed people

[BasedBuzzed]

Am gonna do a committee next year and our new secretary has dropped off the map completely: doesn't respond to mails, phone calls or Whatsapps, and of the latter I know she has read it. Prior history of seeking isolation when sad, lives with parents now so not completely cut off from social contact, not sure whether she has contact with pals, last time I saw her was at a festival with a friend at the start of August, friend confirmed it wasn't going so well with her. Haven't been too spammy/pressuring about contact(3/4 times over the course of three weeks), messages included elements of "we're not angry", "you don't have to tell us what's happening but please give a sign on whether you plan to proceed with board stuff" and the suggestion to do so through a pal or something if she doesn't want to directly contact us.

I'm looking how to proceed now, also pitfalls to pay attention to and pitfalls I might have already made based on the description above.

[jcorozza]

Is this a coworker, or friend/acquaintance?

[BasedBuzzed]

It's a friend, board organization is very informal, roughly the equivalent of hobby society.

[jcorozza]

Are you trying to figure out how to get the information you need from her, or just trying to figure out what to say in general to a person going through a depressive episode?

If it's the latter, I think it's fine to ask, in a casual way, if the person is okay, and let them know you're around if they need to talk. If it's the former...you might just have to wait. Or reach out to some of her closer friends.

[bomaye]

Not much you can do beyond what you've already been doing.

[BasedBuzzed]

Thanks for the feedback, she responded! Not going so well, and tells me she already hinted at that. Lucky for me, I have a rep of being incredibly dense so sledgehammer clarity will surely follow soon.

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