I hate looking at myself/feel really unattractive & embarassed when I'm on film

[Jayce]

So umm I'm on youtube for a dance performance and I get filmed sometimes for dance practices and we share it in the facebook group so we can all learn to get better. I love dancing but I hate the way I look on film. I look really short, my body seems too wide, I make mistakes on film and some of my moves are done awkwardly.

I only act confidently because I can't see what I look like when I am getting filmed, dance is fun, and well we are supposed to be confident. In a performance there are literally hundreds of people watching.



My group's performance starts at 2:31. So in this youtube video I'm the black haired guy in the navy blue blazer, black pants and yellowish shoes, there's a lot of us in the performance but you can see me clearly sometimes. I make dancing mistakes. If you still can't tell who I am cause there are so many of us, at 4:38 I'm at the centre of the stage, so that's me...



https://vid.me/REPA

In this other video, it's another dance performance at the end of last year, just inside the studio instead of a proper theatre stage, filmed by a friend's friend on mobile, so the quality is not good. I still feel like I look more wide than normal, and I can see all my mistakes.  I'm the guy with the grey vest and everything else is black.



https://vid.me/zs0Y

And I feel super embarrassed when I look at a dance practice video that I'm in. I'm the guy wearing the black v neck, with white shoes, and I'm at the front in the end of the video, doing the "ok" pose. We are supposed to look at these so we can all improve our skills, and I do look at them, I just make so many mistakes. and I still feel being on film makes me look shorter, and wider.

Adding into the fact that I'm one of the more beginner students in the studio, and a lot of others have danced way longer than I have, ehh I kind of feel unattractive when I look at myself dance on film.

It can also really show that I'm only 165 centimetres tall (5'4 inches) as well, and it makes me feel too short.

Have anyone else watched themselves on film and felt similar?

Because sometimes it's filmed in an angle and filmed a bit more far away, maybe film is not a 100% complete accurate representation of how I dance/look, hopefully I actually look and dance better.

[FormerlyShyGuy]

I get that feeling all the time, if I get filmed dancing or even dance in a mirror.  It is a really useful tool to improve how you look when you dance so I try and fight through the feeling of awkwardness so that I can look at it to learn. I try to focus on correctable things, like body movement, timing etc instead of unchangeable/extremely difficult to change things like weight or height.

[Guest]

Ahh yes, cringing at oneself on camera. The feeling is mutual for many people, to be honest, including myself. How long you been dancing? You say you're a beginning student, so don't sweat it, you'll get better with practice and time! If it makes you feel any better you dance way better than me that's for sure.

And to give you an example from my own life, I took a "Media Announcing" class and my professor taped our presentations for the same reasons you and your dance team tape your practices. To analyze it, break down what we did wrong and what we did right so we can present better the next time. We watched those videos every time after a presentation and I as well as others cringed every time we saw ourselves on screen.

[BasedBuzzed]

I can count at least four performers of the top of my head in the first vid who are doing worse than you when it comes to timing and smoothness: the fact that you're so critical of yourself doesn't always mean that you're looking through the lens of low self-esteem, it could also mean that you're actually assessing what you're doing wrong.

I think I make the same type of mistake as you sometimes and my theory is that it's a guy thing; focusing more on individual moves than the transition, comboed with a shyness that makes the moves go either too quick or too short(in how far you stretch yourself). Does watching the vids give you the feeling that you're actually kind of stiff even though you can pull of relatively complex movements?

[Watched the second vid now: imo, you're at your best in parts where there's a quick succession of short movements, which makes me even more convinced that it's the above thing and you're not alone in it]

[sky]

In my experience nobody likes how they look and/or sound when they are recorded. It's partly because we're not used to seeing our own selves from a 3rd person perspective, and when we do, it's usually in a mirror. I think it's also partly because cameras capture different details than what we might pay attention to if we were just looking with our eyes.

I agree with you that the first video in particular makes you look a little bit too short and wide...when you're standing by the side of the screen. Did you notice that everybody gets a little taller and skinnier when they move from the side of the frame to the middle? I think you've encountered a case of a video camera with a lens that is distorting the image. And honestly, I think all (non-movie-grade) video cameras do this to some degree. People always seem to look just a tiny bit weird on film.

I think FormerlyShyGuy's advice to watch the video looking for things you're doing that you can change is very good. You can see the places where you need to work on your timing or practice a specific move, and the video also gives you the opportunity to see your posture and facial expressions, which are things that I've not ever received instruction on in a dance class and was surprised to see how I looked on film.

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