(re)watch Babylon 5

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Post by bomaye on Thu Jan 24, 2019 4:49 am

B5S5E13

Spoiler:

- "OBEY" on the wall, very 1984
- "Reports of our depression is vastly exaggerated."
- Ha, not everything is about Babylon 5
- Oh boy, a crazy person in the Corps
- That "Trust the Corps" intro
- I think she meant "that's terrible CGI", Bester
- Shiny Psi propaganda
- Eyyy, Bester, she's turned on by your old-man "I-gave-up-on-life" sweater
- "With mundanes it's easier." Even if there wasn't sinister machinations behind the scenes and the future we already know about, it's pretty obvious the way the Psi-Corps operates that they were going to make a play eventually
- Oh huh, so Bester was fully raised by the Corps, never got taken away from parents (unless they were killed for some reason or something)
- D'awww, Bester's still devoted to his wife
- Ha, Bester's face being all "FUCK" when he finds out that he's going to B5 again
- Ooooo, a "Mind-Shredder"
- Bester trying to read objects and put himself in the mind of the headspace of the runaway
- God damn, they have a mothership in hyperspace. Did we already know about that and I just forgot?
- Chen's a creeper, and not very good at listening
- Oh, huh. Just because he can read minds doesn't mean he has the experience or know-how to properly cheat when gambling, a Psi-Corps safeguard
- Chen didn't get in trouble for going against Bester's wishes?
- Aw man, Chen actually did the right thing this time too
- Ahaaaa, the plot twist of the 1990s, multiple personality disorder
- "Your first?" Jesussssss, they kill mundanes who get too far caught up in Psi-Corps business by tossing them out of the hyperspace airlock
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Post by waxingjaney on Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:36 pm

Babylon 5 S5E13: The Corps is Mother, The Corps is Father

Spoiler:

Another gimmick episode, just in case you weren't quite convinced the Psi Corps is a telepath Gestapo.

-Nice reminder signs.
-New meat for the grinder.
-Bester telling bad jokes.
-Oh, what show are you on again?
-Well, that didn't go well.
-Logo swap.
-Not enough budget for a full credits redo.
-Oh, there it is.
-They're playing telepathic hot hands.
-Wacky '90s CG.
-Now, watch this special movie.
-"I was dirty, filthy, unclean mentally and physically."
-Sorry, fun's over.
-Make sure to tell Al all the things he already knows.
-Civilian garb. I figured he just wore the uniform 24/7.
-Naaah, he doesn't fraternize with the newbs.
-Paper manifests in the 2260s.
-Oh, and he's been trained in advanced assassination techniques. Have fun.
-Taunted by ghosts.
-Yeah, he's not that much of a newb.
-Well, they have a secret fleet.
-And now the loser tries to beat him up.
-Head asplode!
-But this is broadcast TV so we don't see it.
-Pay off the regular informant.
-Dude's gonna get ganked.
-You dumbass. Psicorps is fundamentally opposed to showing initiative.
-Come on in, fresh untrained meat.
-There's your reward.
-Yep, he's gone teke.
-He sent the one who can follow directions.
-The other one will be set up to be killed as a distraction.
-Oh, that's what the hump is.
-Random knife attack.
-Aha, it was a botched sleeper agent prep session.
-Play the video back three times for the dummies.
-Jeez kid, explain the obvious a bit more.
-We got our batshit teep.
-Luckily he got hit in the bum shoulder anyway.
-They brought the other dude for no particular reason.
-She just wants to hump some P12.
-And to kill the prisoner to impress her boss.
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Post by waxingjaney on Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:49 pm

bomaye wrote:B5S5E13

Spoiler:

- D'awww, Bester's still devoted to his wife

Popsicle lady is his mistress. He has a nominal Psicorps wife.

- God damn, they have a mothership in hyperspace. Did we already know about that and I just forgot?

No, that's new.
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Post by bomaye on Tue Jan 29, 2019 6:55 pm

D'awww, Bester's still devoted to being the worst

S5E14

Spoiler:

- "I need some papers" and then she goes clubbing
- I guess sexual assault back in the '90s meant "You're getting married to me whether you like it or not."
- And so, Delenn's affair with Lennier begins
- A few months away and Lennier's already a grizzled vet
- Holy shit, it's Vir
- I could believe McDonald's surviving into the far future
- Londo trolling the people spying on him and then trying to ruin the Ambassador's relationship
- Poor Vir's just about to get promoted too
- Vir's gonna be the new Londo
- G'Kar finally gets a new eye?
- "We won't keep EIther of you" Get out, Sheridan
- Just like changing a light bulb
- Franklin wants to hang out and get spiritual
- Huh, did the brain-slug things take over the White Star? But then why not kill Lennier and the other guy?
- This Search For God shit is fucking deep
- Ah, I guess he's just a pretty vicious teacher
- Londo's sitting by the ceremonial swords and I'm all "Man, Vir should take one of those and cut a fool" AND THEN HE DOES SHIT YEAH
- "What happened to Vir?" "I promoted him" rofl
- "You failed the Easter Egg hunt, Lennier" rofl
- The captain seems almost amused by a lying Minbari
- Eh, Garibaldi drinking again is no biggie to me, he stopped being a likeable character quite awhile ago
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Post by waxingjaney on Fri Feb 01, 2019 10:00 pm

Babylon 5 S5 E14: Meditations on the Abyss

Spoiler:

Some stuff happens.

-Delenn, your pyramid phone is ringing.
-She's sneaking out to a freaky Minbari swinger club.
-Aggressive flirting.
-That was his favorite finger.
-Just another day of Ranger duty.
-Lennier embracing the Friendzone.
-Delenn has a secret mission for you.
-Lennier got his Ranger scar. He's a grizzled, embittered veteran now.
-"Oh Lennier, he was evil so he must have been lying."
-Un cadeau? Si, les cadeaux!
-Vir, you've been gone for six months, so you have a new job.
-Meanwhile, let me tell you about the smell of the Drazi poops.
-You get to inherit this giant mountain of shit position.
-"I will teach you about the love that a man has for a Minbari in a martial setting."
-It took a year, but we finally got the red lens in stock.
-Ah, so it is a race, and not a random collection of space pirates.
-Londo dropping his dime.
-You know, if G'Kar can pull it out himself to be a perv, Doc doesn't really need forceps.
-Wheeeeeeeeee, space is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.
-Sorry kids, you're in a test. A test of death.
-G'Kar spouting off some philosophical hoohah.
-Nope, he failed the test.
-Victory is life!
-Begone, or I shall taunt you a second time!
-He went for a gat.
-Yeah, wave a sword around and security doesn't give a shit.
-We tested your bravery, now we test your skill.
-One of you will fail, and die.
-The recruitment poster looked really cool, so I signed up.
-You're one to talk, Lennier.
-I liked the ESB score for this scene better.
-He's going to be a hero.
-Don't do it. That's a perfectly good ship.
-And Lennier's going to cover for the coward.
-YOU are getting a desk job.
-Well, that's about three more episodes.
-Gariboozi is otherwise occupied.



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Post by bomaye on Thu Feb 07, 2019 10:45 pm

S515

Spoiler:

- The dream makes Garibaldi scream but waking up and seeing glowy eyes Lyta staring at him doesn't make him scream louder
- Yeah, there we go, wakes up again
- Nothing turns a lady on like the cold-sweats of alcohol withdrawal
- Ahahahaha Sheridan just strutting on in and WHOOPS
- Insurance, the bane of everything even in the future
- Oh hey, negotiating with the Narn, who don't have telepaths anymore. That seems a little obvious now that I think about it
- Londo's no fool, he's starting to notice the Centauri being frozen out and that something weird is going on back home
- Yeah, the "Garibaldi's a drunk" storyline doesn't do anything for me. I just don't like him anymore.
- Sheridan using his Presidential power to squash a simmering romantic affair? Not a good look, John
- Yeah, Delenn's right all around.
- G'Kar creepin on Lyta and her pleasure threshold
- It's been awhile since we've seen reptilian political G'Kar. I like Friendly Jesus G'Kar and Overdramatic Housewife G'Kar, but I do kinda miss that guy too.
- Is that the Psi-mothership?
- Guess not.
- Wow, the Narn want Psychics to spy on the other races for them.
- Ehhhh, I think Lyta would've taken it, spying is pretty much nothing
- Oh, huh. G'Kar was testing her
- Eyyyy war again
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Post by waxingjaney on Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:19 pm

Babylon 5 S5E15: Darkness Ascending

Spoiler:

Lennier goes sleuthing, Lyta sells herself, and Garibaldi's babe drops by.

-Somebody had a hell of a bar fight.
-Evilbaldi has a really big gat.
-And a blob table.
-Ha, she's just visiting.
-And she's visiting too.
-Making a booty call.
-Delenn's informant checking in.
-Whoops. Her secret's out.
-Oh, Lyta's still here.
-She's going to her old buddy.
-Londo not in the Cool Kids' Club anymore.
-She found his stash.
-And she's not happy about it.
-Make him give up his crutch. That will certainly end well.
-Lennier became a gadgeteer at some point.
-More bickering couples.
-Neroon? I don't think Delenn ever felt mushy toward Neroon.
-A Ranger jumped ship? Call the President at once!
-It's a good thing he practiced deep sleep last week.
-G'Kar is sad that he didn't get some teep poon.
-But Lyta's back on the market.
-Well, her genes in particular.
-Reusing the old restaurant set.
-Garibaldi, you dingbat. She wants to be your sugar daddy, and she needs an enforcer.
-He's sneaking his hooch.
-Two days? We just randomly jumped ahead there.
-Hopefully the meditation also slows his bowels.
-Well, that was mighty convenient that a Minbari fighter just happens to have grapples and a drilling tube to swipe some air from a random ship.
-Yep, that's a hidden rebel base all right.
-Londo and his dorky Victorian sleeping gown.
-They woke his ass up for random suspicious rumor mongering.
-Lyta has a deal.
-But not with that term.
-Haha, it was a test of character.
-Congratulations G'Kar, you're getting some Vorlon-enhanced cherry filling tonight.
-Blowing up some ships n stuff.
-The old Han Solo trick.
-Yeah, she knows.
-Londo just randomly walking around, collecting random hugs.
-"This is the only copy, so try not to swallow it or drop it in the toilet."
-"Motherfucker? I've done nothing but sleep until 5 minutes ago."
-"I hope this something doesn't involve my pants."
-Nope, you're not invited.
-Well, there's our ending.
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Post by bomaye on Wed Feb 13, 2019 6:46 am

B5 S5E16

So as we're closing in on the last 3/4s of the last season, are we including anything else in this rewatch? We're already skipping the Thirdspace and River of Souls movies, what about Call To Arms, Legend of the Rangers, Lost Tales, Crusade?

Spoiler:

- Oh right, we're gonna fuck up the Centauri
- Hey, the shoe dropped
- Ya know, it's occurred to me while watching the intro that Lochley has been pretty MIA over large parts of the season
- Secret autopsies sounds kinda shady tbh
- Hrm, so I sorta like how they're delivering the information to Londo one at a time so he can absorb it without having to be on the defensive. He's been noticing weird shit is up with the Centauri himself, maybe instead of flying off the handle like he normally would, he'll recognize that something is really up
- Huh. Is Londo doing this for real or is he playing grandstand political theater so he can actually investigate himself on the down-low without the Centuari catching wind of it?
- Oh, the recap footage from last episode convinced him
- Don't they have a take a vote on this first?
- Eyyyy a blockade, DS9 did that too
- Even Vir's all "I dunno about this one, guy, these numbers aren't adding up."
- Ah, Londo thinks it is just a misunderstanding
- Londo says he won't be gone long, but that vision of the future we saw had him mostly stuck on the throne
- And G'Kar's going with him, so he can kill him
- Should probably turn him in, Zack
- And Sheridan going on about how important this buffer plan is is exactly why you should've turned him in, Zack
- Franklinnnn, that was dirty
- Uhhh if I recall you kind of forced and cajoled them into this to avoid being arrested, Sheridan
- Awwww, Londo sticking up for his mortal enemy G'Kar
- Wow, that was a hard comedy cut
- For a sec there, it looked like Sheridan was dipping his face down into that candle to set it on fire
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Post by waxingjaney on Sun Feb 17, 2019 5:09 pm

Babylon 5 S5E16: And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder

Spoiler:

Yep, it's war.

-Naah, the candle put the moojoo on her.
-Minbari don't sleep when there's trouble afoot. It's disrespectful.
-Sorry Londo, you're not on thr list.
-The Centauri!? The one government not in this meeting?! We are shocked!
-Sheridan's bored already.
-Blah blah blah.
-Londo's gonna filibuster.
-Lennier with the Zapruder film.
-That shut Londo up.
-Ass-kicking!!!
-It's an embargo.
-Naaah, it was those rotten Narns all along.
-Secession!
-Londo's gotta crack some heads back home.
-G'Kar going to help him out.
-Sorry, Michael Gariboozi here.
-Zack calling him out.
-And giving him a break.
-Yeah, make the lush a critical link in the plan to avert war.
-No backup plans or redundancies at all.
-Hahaha, G'Kar has funky BO.
-Yep, he's passed out.
-And we're shooting.
-Zack's gotta drop the dime.
-Gotta smuggle Vir out of trouble.
-Doc's got some moves.
-Sheridan's quite upset.
-Candygram, Londo.
-Ha, yes he did.
-Delenn being all mopey.


are we including anything else in this rewatch? We're already skipping the Thirdspace and River of Souls movies, what about Call To Arms, Legend of the Rangers, Lost Tales, Crusade?

No, I didn't like them very much. You can watch them if you really want to, but I thought the various side stories and semisequels lost the storytelling and narrative magic that made the first four years of B5 enjoyable. I'm slogging through the rest of season 5 for the sake of completing the core story.

I've been thinking of doing a Phantom 2040 rewatch. Looks like most of the eps are on da 'Tube. Interested?
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Post by bomaye on Sun Feb 17, 2019 6:21 pm

Not until B5's done. Never did see Phantom 2040 I don't think but I do remember really being into the video game. That's a maybe.
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Post by bomaye on Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:15 pm

B5 S5E17

Spoiler:

- Holy shit, it's Lochley
- Centauri targeting the Jump Gates now
- Ohhhhhhhhhh, Sheridan's letting her know that that they're going to become a target specifically because he did give the go-ahead for the White Stars to get involved
- Joint Earth/Minbari war fleets... I wonder if the rest of the Alliance would be comfortable with that
- The Earth President will only say Yes if the Minbari say Yes first, fucking politicians
- Hrmmm, maybe the Drazi are doing biological experiments with the dead Centauri to create a bioweapon?
- Lyta's become a hardcore businesswoman in the interim
- Imagine being the cell-guard for Londo and G'Kar and standing outside listening to them bicker like an old married couple for hours on end
- The Greys are at it again?
- Okay, the CGI may be ancient by now, but I thought that X-Ray looked pretty cool
- Creepy fucks
- I'm kind of with the alien generals here, if they're attacking your civilian targets, that should make them open season too (even if they're being heavily manipulated by freaky symbiote bug things)
- I'm assuming the plan is to cripple deep space travel to either weaken everyone for conquering by some major Shadow-like force, or destroy the jump-gates so they can hunker down and rebuild long-term to conquer everything in the far future
- Is Franklin making Lyta carry all the luggage
- Interrupting Sheridan's space-crossword time
- Lyta's sure gotten fucking hardcore
- And not so worried about using her psychic powers to dig into someone's mind these days
- Yikes, Lennier and Delenn got blowed up
- Oh shiiiit, there's no Centauri on the ships, the one sent to destroy the jump gate at B5 wasn't a suicide ramming-speed kind of deal
- Ohhhhhh man, that Minister was right, the Centauri are only defending themselves, the offensive stuff is being handled by someone else and they're being kept in the dark
- Wuh-oh, maybe I'm not so big on the alien generals anymore
- Brutallllll
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Post by waxingjaney on Sat Feb 23, 2019 10:49 pm

Babylon 5 S5E17: Movements of Fire and Shadow

Spoiler:

Everyone figure shit out just a bit too late.

-Everyone fly in easily-attacked formations.
-Deploy TIE fighters.
-Oh, they were just torpedos.
-Hey, it's Captain Not-Appearing-In-This-Series.
-You could have maybe done that before now?
-Lol, civilized warfare.
-Well, that's that.
-Thanks for delivering the Good News, Prez.
-We're at war, and we're probably going to get shot up later today.
-Well, the nipple clamps hurt, dude.
-We need some Star Destroyers!
-I'll do it, but *you* have to wear the clamps first, hon.
-And I can emotionally cheat on you with Lennier while I'm there.
-As you know, I'm going to exposit for you.
-They're sending us rude letters with crude drawings.
-Pleeeeeeeease help get us our zombies back.
-Lyta's going to need some moolah.
-No need for pockets in the 23rd century.
-Londo exercising his prison fantasy.
-Well, none of that jailbreak via popular uprising shit. It's off to meet the secret masters.
-Or an alien autopsy.
-We'll inject it through the feet.
-Or the temples.
-Down the garbage chute.
-All that to fix a cavity.
-They did things to your penises.
-Throwing up, duh.
-Haha, rancid barf.
-Progress is whiffy.
-Because they won't cooperate.
-Uh, their wha?
-Space is three dimensions, dude. No line.
-No, that's a Star Trek warning, bro.
-Ha, it's a fireship.
-It's a bit singed.
-Well, the Centauri are in for some shit.
-There's ya boo, Delenn. And Sheridan.
-Segue to Drazi Land World.
-Smelly humans. I should follow them.
-Londo has no friends.
-Don't interrupt a man and his adult coloring books.
-Yep, he's pissed.
-Greetings, smelly humans.
-Doc's a pretty good shot.
-But she's about to Tetsuo that dude's ass.
-Naaah, she took the easy way out.
-She saw the secret laboratory.
-With the White Stars being in critically short supply, I don't know that they needed one just to ferry Delenn to Minbar.
-Oh, well that was why.
-The White Stars aren't so much hot shit these days. Mass-produced mook ships.
-And there it is.
-Oh, just Shadow brain slugs.
-Let's take it with us.
-Wacky regent is ready to check out.
-Robot ships.
-Part of a false flag operation.
-Fly her apart, dammit!
-Oxygen atmosphere surprisingly intact in this wreck.
-But we're going to die soon anyway.
-I opened the gate to the city and took in this lovely horse.
-Here comes trouble.
-Cheesy zooms.
-And no named character will die in this barrage.
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Post by bomaye on Thu Feb 28, 2019 7:07 am

May be late on watching the next ep, watched Thirdspace. It wasn't so much Babylon 5 as it was B5 doing Star Trek 1 and Independence Day interspersed between 40 minutes of fistfights. Shit was silly and kind of out of character for the Vorlons. Liked Ivanova being part of the crew again. Replacing her with Lochley was definitely a mistake.

Funniest part was

Spoiler:
a bro-hug between Franklin and Zack after the wild brawling came to an end.
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Post by waxingjaney on Thu Feb 28, 2019 11:13 pm

Babylon 5 S5E18: The Fall of Centauri Prime

Spoiler:

It's not quite on the level of "Ultra Magnus Dies!", but take a wild guess what happens in this episode.

-Remember last week? Here's a recap.
-Well, G'Kar. You didn't get to see Narn blasted to bits, but you can see Centauri Prime get pummeled.
'Tis merely a flesh wound.
-Reuse that burning city footage from the flashforward.
-Nobody will take advantage of the situation to murder an injured Narn.
-Close formation people. Let a few ships get melted by the energy bleed-off.
-The scary dude, duh.
-The Shadows left their trash in the house when they left.
-Not doing the doofy shimmer effect this time.
-Time to pay the piper for ganking Morden.
-And they want a servant race of their own.
-Ah, they're gonna blow up Londo's island.
-The Narn commander forcing the issue.
-There's the controller.
-Yep, the Regent's checking out.
-Oh yeah, Delenn's going to die.
-Londo's going to lay down and do the job.
-Saying his goodbyes.
-Awwww, they're gonna hug and shit.
-Well, a bro-hug.
-Oh jeez, Londo's going to be controlled by this dude's tit?
-Cheesy CG.
-Oh hey Londo, thanks for ending the war. Can you help me find my woman?
-Londo being a jerk.
-Sheridan being a jerk too.
-We could make sweet sweet love before we expire.
-Oh wait, I mean fire the weapons as a flare.
-Whoops.
-Oh, they were just tractor beams.
-Let's pretend that bit of awkwardness didn't happen. Deal?
-Jeez Delenn, why don't you offer him a handjob too?
-He will board up all the windows.
-Yeah, nobody learned from Versailles.
-The big head Londo.
-Alone, except for ugly head back there.
-Yeah, we're gonna bow out now.
-He wants Vir out and away from things he might discover.
-G'Kar too.
-Goodbye old Londo.
-Slightly wrecked CG palace.
-Remember the Shadow slugs?
-Somebody kept the security system armed.

Yeah, Thirdspace was kinda "Hey! Let's do Lovecraft in space! With sets, actors, and CG from Babylon 5 shoehorned in! Brilliant!"
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Post by bomaye on Fri Mar 01, 2019 3:23 am

S5E18

Spoiler:

- "Stay here, in this above-ground building while we're being shelled from orbit, G'Kar"
- Huh, "They" are humanoid, I thought we were dealing with the brain slugs here
- "A shadow of a shadow" Damnnnn man
- Huh, I guess an orbital bombardment isn't strong enough to explode planted fusion bombs?
- Oh mannnnnnn, the Narn's right, the Centauri fleets will return and then it's go-time no matter what
- Total outmaneuvering on every side here, even the Regent's role is to force Londo/The Emperor into playing his role
- Ohooooo so the brain slugs are connected to the Drakh
- Aw man, Londo saying goodbye to G'Kar and not being able to explain to him that he'll be brain-slugged (but now I'm interested in what the Greys did to Londo, because if they did something to him that protects him from the brain slugs, that never happened in the future that we originally saw)
- G'Kar forgiving Londo ;_; ;_; ;_;
- Well this is getting wet and wild
- Don't care how bad the CGI is, that brain-spider crawling up his body is creepy as fuck
- And it's tweaking his penis-nipples
- HRMMMM Sheridan going down to the surface, that's dangerous (didn't he learn of the brain-spiders when he was tripping through the future?)
- Demanding reparations is very un-Sheridan like. He knows military history, he'd know what reparations on a defeated party can lead to
- "There is on other thing we could do, Delenn. MAKE OUTTTTT"
- Lennier, forever in the friendzone
- Awkwarddddd
- And now she's slam dunking him hard back into the friendzone, I think I hate her at this point
- D'awww, Londo trying to protect Vir from the brain-spider
- "Sheridan and his Alliance" ooof
- Huh, I'm really curious to see if all the story loose ends get wrapped up by the end of the next four episodes.

I'm gonna watch River of Souls tomorrow just to get it out of the way too, superhero shows are all starting up again next week.
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Post by bomaye on Sat Mar 02, 2019 7:26 am

Actually maybe I won't watch River of Souls quite yet, it's set after Season 5 even though it broadcasted during it
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Post by bomaye on Tue Mar 05, 2019 12:07 pm

B5S5E19

Spoiler:

- G'Kar might like to see a friendly face, but this stranger will have to do for now
- Now see, that little prank is more of an Ivanova "I'm kinda your friend but I'm also a bitch" thing
- Take all the time in the world, Garibaldi, it's not like we need a director of intelligence or anything like that
- Oh mannnn, Franklin with the "We're God's puzzle" business
- Osama Bin Lyta
- TBH I both don't care about Garibaldi's problems at all and don't think Lochley and Garibaldi are close enough to make this a realistic situation where she cares enough to keep pursuing him
- So Lochley's father was Hitler
- Oh man, Lyta flexing just how fucking powerful she is
- But ya know, she is friends with a good chunk of the top brass, they could've just asked her in private instead of making a show of force and a scene in public
- What the fuck, Sheridan?
- And now we're gonna stand around and admire that the Captain just police brutality'd someone in handcuffs?
- "What could make Lyta turn like this?" Well you kinda held a gun to her head
- "She's pregnant." And Sheridan looks like he wants to jump out the airlock, oh dear
- Ouch, poor future baby loses to Delenn
- "Despite my best efforts, I have become an Icon." G'Kar saving his best line for the last few episodes rofl
- Everyone's finding reasons to leave B5
- Oh hey, Lyta's the Psychic Nuke
- So now the good guys are using criminal enterprise to take down the bad-guy Psi-Corps?
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Post by waxingjaney on Tue Mar 05, 2019 11:39 pm

Babylon 5 S5E19: The Wheel of Fire

Spoiler:

We wrapped up Londo's arc last week; this week it's the B-team's turn.

-Welcome Captain Absent.
-Lol no, you're an icon, dude.
-Still slugging the sauce.
-Yeah, this is an intervention.
-Just a bit, maaaaaan. I think better when I'm buzzed.
-Oh, and that whole Bester mindrape thing, too.
-Suspension! Forever, or a day.
-This would have worked better with Sinclair.
-G'Kar hiding from his groupies.
-Uh oh, B5 is harboring a terrorist organization.
-We have two more episodes to go, so I'm guessing this terror thing will get wrapped up pretty quick.
-Instead of following up on that, she's going to badger Garibaldi.
-I'm going to just stroll on by the arguing couple.
-Apparently the Earth military forbids hobbies.
-Oh, we're going to let the Cap'n have some character development today.
-Time to shut her down.
-But she has powers.
-Everyone is her minion.
-The secret knock.
-Oh, but he has the magic woo too.
-Yeah, the angry espers never improve their attitude.
-Your girlfriend, duh.
-Captain did her good deed for the day.
-Let? Dude, she's a teke, she can walk out anytime she wants.
-Delenn's having a day, too.
-Now that you're sober, you can lay me and help run my vast corporate empire.
-Off the booze, on the trail.
-Congrats bro, your semen works.
-Well, Minbari give birth by vomiting the fetus, so... I have no idea what the hell will happen here.
-Of course, we're not going to bother with Delenn's POV here or anything.
-Private time.
-Making a deal.
-Make sure G'Kar can overhear.
-Garibaldi checking out the statue's wang.
-G'Kar's going to go wander the galaxy and shit.
-With the main cast gone, Season 6 will be really boring.
-Flashback time.
-Oh shit, she's a System Lord.
-Nope, he's quite sad and quite alone.
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Post by bomaye on Wed Mar 06, 2019 3:13 pm

waxingjaney wrote:Babylon 5 S5E19: The Wheel of Fire

Spoiler:

-With the main cast gone, Season 6 will be really boring.

rofl
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Post by waxingjaney on Tue Mar 12, 2019 10:04 pm

Babylon 5 S5E20: Objects in Motion

Spoiler:

Wrapping up the story arcs for the B-team.

-Yo, I'm a Marsie. Stand da fuq aside.
-And she's not a bad lay either.
-Just remember who your suave black best friends are, babe.
-Garibaldi got the clap.
-Get your pukey ass out here, darling.
-Oh, is that all? Attempted murder is on the first page of the job description.
-I'm sorry Steven. I'm leaving forever. With a woman.
-We'll have a six-month sexual cruise through the quadrant.
-Our clever plan is to use you as bait.
-Yep, he's too chatty to not be evil.
-Dude! It's not even the same speaker pattern. You might as well replace an iphone X with some Chinese Samsung knockoff.
-Mars sucks, bro.
-Not much for your haxx0r skillz, brah.
-Took you long enough.
-You're not allowed to quit our fanboying.
-Thanks for explaining the obvious, Doc.
-I bet it's the other obvious human!
-Sure, Delenn is the one who has to set up the house for her husband. She hasn't done shit this season except be a love interest and a hostess.
-Well, that was awkwardly dramatic.
-Your girlfriend took a shot that wasn't very close at all to hitting me. Thanks.
-And Garibaldi is on the trail.
-Naah dude, you have no rights.
-Handy to have a cooperative P99 around.
-When I came to the station, I thought you were a creepy scumbag. Now, I consider you My Friend The Creepy Scumbag.
-Babcom doesn't load very fast.
-Like I got shot in the nuts, even though I don't have nuts.
-Good job, get her addicted to meds, Drunkey McSoberson.
-And a non compos mentis marriage.
-Lol, she was just playing along.
-Sorry Zack, she's too weird and vengeful to be your snoosnoo now.
-Ah, the Establishing Shot on Mars.
-Hahahahahaha, the sliding panels for the giant viewscreen. These people are straight Bond movie villains.
-He had a spot of unfortunate death.
-Ha, he dug up all their dirt.
-Marsie got a new job.
-And he put out a contract on the board.
-I mean, I like your wang and stuff, but I'm a career woman now.
-But we can fit in one last quickie.
-Mister President, your hausfrau is back.
-And she's gotta be his emotional support, too.
-Good manly broshake and hug.
-Five miles, and the waste reclamation tanks are right in the middle.
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Post by bomaye on Fri Mar 15, 2019 3:35 am

B5S5E20

Spoiler:

- Eyyyy, Martian Babe back for some Franky-panky
- Not every dude's trying to get into your DNA, Lyta. Women, amirite?
- Oh hey, is George Carlin('s older brother) the assassin?
- Pocket napkins in the 23rd century, get the fuck out
- Ha, Mars Babe venting to Sheridan about becoming a politician and he's all "Dooohohohoho this is so adorable"
- WHOOPS, Lise got shot anyways
- Garibaldi walked away without taking the prisoner that Lyta just mind-zapped (these are the good guys, right?) with him
- Sneak wedding Lise on her almost-deathbed?
- First off, a hairy dude on a board of directors in the '90s? Come onnnn
- Second of all, isn't that guy in everything in the '90s
- Huh, so if you off-hand know one of the main cast you're going to get one of the most powerful positions in the galaxy
- Just fuck already, kids
- The funny part is that Delenn knew Michael longer
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Post by bomaye on Tue Mar 19, 2019 3:03 pm

B5S5E21

Spoiler:

- It is hard to believe it's almost been a year since Lochley's been on board, we barely saw her
- Just have sex already guys, I'm sure there's some weird Minbari forgiveness and exploration ritual that would excuse it
- Eyyy, Vir and Sword-Guy gonna hang out
- Eyyyy Sword Guy gets to be the new Ambassador
- "It's up to you if you want it, but copies are being sent to everyone telling them that you have it, HAVE FUN!"
- Awriiiight, Dr "Stop doing drugs" is getting that promotion
- Grizzled Lennier with his scarface
- Looks like Zack wants to get up into some Martian Intelligence, if you know what I mean
- I expected that transition from "Oh, I bet he's keeping very busy" would change over to Garibaldi in a wild gunfight with Lise in his arms and then they swing away like they're Indiana Jones or some shit
- Awriiight, all the complainers getting promoted will surely do well for corporate efficiency
- Sheridan mad that reporters are "two steps ahead of where they're supposed to be." YIKES
- And this is where Lennier snaps, kills Sheridan and finally takes Delenn for himself and swings away with her on a rope like it's Indiana Jones or some shit
- I like how every other language is tied up with their race but ours is "English" instead of "Human"
- "Mr. President." His title. "Delenn." Her name.
- "Match rotation. FIRE" PEW PEW PEW NO SHERIDAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING
- Sheridan trying to whistle but not quite being able to is the most Sheridan thing ever
- Oh shit, is Lennier leaving him to die?
- Have to knock off every piece of sugarglass while the dude behind him is dying
- Do we really have to turn Lennier into a cowardly beta male at this point? It's sort of like The Doctor proclaiming his love for 7 of 9 at the last second, it's not necessary
- They read Lennier's diary, oh god I'm cringeing to death right now
- Though tbh Delenn must consider him a little bit alpha right now because she's making excuses for him to her husband after he tried to kill him
- "Wow, Minbar is a geometrical nightmare"
- EYYYYY, EMPEROR LONDO
- Oh man, Londo was trying to get his brain slug drunk so he could tell them what's up
- And Delenn can feel something's up
- The bottom's sealed, maybe a secret "HELP ME, GUYS" note
- Lennier called him "Your husband" instead of Sheridan, meaning he still totally wants him dead
- Oh shiiiit a brain slug for the Sheridelenn kid
- "Happy Birthday, here's 10 hours of some pre-recorded nagging from your dead father"
- Guaranteed Garibaldi's actor was like "Hey, can we get a real cigar on set here?"
- "Fight for your right to parttttyyyyyy"
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Post by waxingjaney on Thu Mar 21, 2019 9:23 pm

Babylon 5 S5E21: Objects at Rest

Spoiler:

Let's wind up the A-team's plots.

-Mama's got house set up.
-Slide out the back door to avoid creditors.
-You'd think there would be a night crew to operate the bridge.
-Maybe the station can't afford 24-hour service?
-He left no forwarding address.
-He's gone, so let's loot his shit.
-Awwww, he left a note.
-The dude with the sword should speak with authority.
-Random intro break.
-Because he was the guy who answered the note.
-Time-skip wackiness for no reason.
-You'd think the Babcom would have a bit better resolution than SD.
-Wait, me? I haven't had a speaking role since season 3?
-Being Chief Medical Officer means not paying your dinner bill.
-Oh no, I took the week off to enjoy being in your Friendzone.
-Just the usual petty alien shit.
-Okay, you screwed up by hiring troublemakers and malcontents.
-And Doc just wanders off.
-ISN still sucking up to the new regime.
-Yes, I will come by and try to cuck you every day.
-Well, I'm no good at speeches, so adios you motherfuckers.
-English, the language of commerce. Italian, the language of love. Russian, the language of complaining.
-Ah, the 100% approval rating.
-Lennier lies well to save face. The ship's Captain picked up the Brakiri clap on that planet.
-Yeah, we didn't line up dramatically when the others left.
-Coolant leak! Bridge, we've got a coolant leak! I estimate five minutes to a big Star Trek explosion!
-That's the coolant leak alarm!
-Oh wait, if he dies then Delenn will shag me. That's how that works!
-Too late, he got himself out.
-Yeah, you're not invited to supper.
-Let's invade his privacy and shit now that he's run off.
-Morden said Lennier would betray the Rangers. I guess this kinda sorta maybe counts?
-No, Lennier can go suck it. I'm covering up for your sake, dear.
-Meanwhile, on Coruscant...
-Even the An'la'shok have to mop the President's floor.
-Random Londo appearance.
-Londo has the full imperial hair.
-Delenn can see his Shadow wriggler.
-Naah, Vir will also be emperor.
-Thanks Londo, we'll put it in storage and forget about it.
-Help me, obi-wanlenn, you're my only love.
-He showed me proof of his enduring love. I like yours better.
-The jar has a shadow titty in it too.
-I kinda hope everyone's gotten over that whole blowing up the Black star thing.
-And the child of a woman who was once a full alien and kinda androgynous, but it's the 23rd century so that's okay.
-Go ahead and seek out the counsel of my old friends who you will have no experience or relations with.
-Not quite an ending, but it will do.
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Post by bomaye on Mon Mar 25, 2019 6:50 pm

BS5E22 Series End

Spoiler:

- Oh hey, an Interstellar space federation that isn't based on Earth
- Hrm, so is this when Sheridan's remaining life burns out?
- Pillow-thief Delenn
- His housecoat puts the Jedi to shame
- GENERAL IVANOVAAAAAAA
- Vir gone full Londo
- Poor Uncle Steve
- Didn't invite Lochley
- Guess they couldn't find G'Kar either (unless he died while choking out Londo too)
- Space racist humour!
- Getting old sucks, Ivanova
- John and Delenn, Bill and Hill
- Awriiight, Ivanova gets to rule over the thing that Marcus was part of, because nobody moves on with their lives over 20 years
- No politics, no bureaucracy, no oversight...
- A Sunday drive, god that's so old-person
- Shutdown crew, B5's getting decommissioned
- Zack Attack's still lurking after 20 years
- Awww, he invited Zack but they couldn't find him
- Oh I get it, the sunday drive is him keeping in motion as long as possible until he "simply stops"
- Franklin decked out like his dad was
- That guy shut off the power on B5 without a spacesuit on, he's going to choke to death because no air
- RIP B5 ;_;>
- One of Vir's male attendants looked like Cartagia
- Ah man, that credits sequence showing their first and last appearances

Final Series Thoughts

Spoiler:

So in the inevitable comparison with DS9, I think DS9 was ultimately better. B5's strengths were in long-term planning, those moments where the plot-threads would all unravel at once, maybe a bit better when it comes to space battles because the CGI let them do more. I think DS9 was ahead of its time and B5 was a product of its time, it's very '90s in how it views politics and international/interstellar issues. I was super impressed in how they rerouted so many storylines that had to be changed due to cast turnover and how they made it seem like that was the plan all along. I loved how much it reminded me of Mass Effect (or the other way around, how much Babylon 5 seemed to influence Mass Effect), how the major races were built up, the Psychic aspect (Bester was a super-strong character).

I think the show's weaknesses were that most seasons could've been condensed down to 15ish episodes, the payoffs were worth it but sometimes the build-up was really slow (I doubt I would've noticed if I'd watched it in the '90s since that's more of a "today" thing). I also think as the show wore on it didn't do their characters many favours, especially in season 5. A number of them had become unlikeable and never really got it back. Replacing Ivanova suckedddddddd. Also the Shadows were the main event and retaking Earth was the epilogue, building up a Psi-War that we'll never see and then showing us the future in a previous season only for it to come to pass without us seeing how it ended up being resolved ultimately felt like wasted time. The building of the Alliance was somewhat interesting, but I think it could've been handled better because too many times it felt like the good guys were actually acting like bad guys. I get that being a political ruler forces a bad hand, but I think they could've done more like what happened to Londo, like they sort of are forced to do unsavoury things for the greater good of their people because that's the name of the game.

And probably the best part of the show was Londo and G'Kar. I think it was a bit silly for them to become besties later on after so much went down, but they were always entertaining either way. How the fuck did we get two space-station shows with legendary bro-mances in Londo/G'Kar and Odo/Quark?

I'm still gonna watch the last few movies and that DVD extra episode or whatever that is. I'm unsure if I'm going to bother with Crusade since it got cancelled partway through Season 1, but I guess one of the movies is kind of a pilot, so if that goes well I might just go for it.
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Post by waxingjaney on Mon Mar 25, 2019 8:17 pm

Babylon 5 S5E22: Sleeping in Light

Spoiler:

The distant finale.

-Garibaldi narration.
-Would have been more appropriate for Londo to do it, but he's dead.
-Die for a while. Live for a while.
-Wearing his Ranger pajamas.
-No, once I'm up I'm up.
-We stay up until 3 am banging, so I'm in bed until noon.
-Oh shit, I didn't realize the Minbari sun was purple.
-No intro this time.
-Ivanova! Long time no see.
-A personal invitation.
-Vir enjoying his debauchery.
-Of course Garibaldi's kid is a brat.
-I wore her ass out for three days.
-A strange man met me at the door, so I let him in.
-Four of five days? Shit, maybe I should write a will.
-It's okay, Delenn. I have finished examining him under his pants.
-Delenn's not-quite-old woman hairdo.
-Vir practicing some multiculturalism.
-Oh, Lennier died!
-Nobody toasted Sinclair, even though he died 1,000 years ago.
-Yeah, just let the troubled kid not visit his dad before he dies.
-I'm not quite dead yet, Delenn.
-Sheridan still plotting and scheming.
-One last night of G-rated sex.
-Delenn dyed her hair to see her man off.
-And now it's not dyed.
-He left his katra in her.
-Randomly fly back to the station.
-Old empty station. Nobody needs to meet in neutral space anymore.
-Time to take the old girl apart.
-More flashback time.
-Old wheezy Zack.
-20 years later and the uniforms haven't changed a bit.
-Where I'm going I won't need food.
-No need for a crew on the ol' White Star.
-Back to where it ended the first time.
-WAKE DA FUQ UP SIR!
-Thanks, ship.
-Delenn misses her boyfriend pillow.
-Just lie back and think of Z'ha'dum.
-I thought I'd journey to Valinor with the rest of you elves.
-None of your kind have ever gone this far before.
-And he effervesced.
-He disappeared like Jesus.
-Franklin looks like his dad with the uniform and glasses.
-Creator cameo.
-So, we're going to take a small hazard to navigation and make it a much larger hazard to navigation.
-No! Let Vir and I enjoy our adult coloring book.
-Delenn knows he's part of the light of the universe now.
-Goodbye to the production crew.
-And by Rangers Like You. Thank you.
-Ah, ending credits.
-For a select few.
-Marcus gets a status card instead of a corpse pose.
-No Sinclair again.
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