Re: Disappointment

[inbloomer]

There was a brief period where I tried a sort of James Bond persona – nothing overtly sexual but smooth, insouciant and with a bit of playful challenge, as if saying “I can figure out your secret identity quicker than you can find mine…” It was relatively successful and also low-risk, as you’re not actually doing anything someone could complain about. My only hesitation on bringing it out again is that it’s a bit PUA-esque, which at the time was more accepted but has since been deeply discredited.

I used to do kung fu, which was good for practising nonsexual touch but was male-dominated and arguably wasn’t great for dating image overall (there’s a not entirely inaccurate perception that men who go into martial arts are compensating for insecurity). I feel I got everything I could out of it so wouldn’t really want to restart now.

I do a bit of sketch/comedy writing with a friend and in the past we’ve done some readthroughs – I could try to restart that. As a wider group of friends we do online games quite regularly, but not quite book reads. I once did a one-day acting course, which did make me think proper stage acting is very full-on – it’s not really about learning lines, as you might think, it’s about completely committing to a character. If the director tells you to act like an animal or a 5-year-old child, YOU DO IT. You can’t have any self-consciousness about how silly you look, which I found hard.

My parents have always hated fancy dress (cosplay) and any kind of party-level roleplay, and that transferred to me. I think in Britain fancy dress has tended to be more just silly – dressing up a Christmas parcel or something – whereas in America there’s a greater tradition of sexing it up. (I remember a nerdy American exchange student on whom I was keen at the time suddenly dressing and acting sexier on Halloween night, so I know what you mean.)

I will do a little bit of trying out different characters in daily life when it doesn’t matter. I think you are overall right: I need to be seen from the start of getting to know someone as being part of that universe, rather than it being something that seems to disconcert them when they finally figure it out.

[Datelessman]

I once did a one-day acting course, which did make me think proper stage acting is very full-on – it’s not really about learning lines, as you might think, it’s about completely committing to a character. If the director tells you to act like an animal or a 5-year-old child, YOU DO IT. You can’t have any self-consciousness about how silly you look, which I found hard.

That is very much how stage acting is. During college, upon the suggestion of a few people in my life, I took an elective acting course. The first day's class was very much about what you described. The teacher said we'd have to pick an object that we had to "become" by the end of the course to pass (i.e. a tree, a rock, etc.). I thought it was way too intense for a course I didn't "need" and dropped it immediately. I left thinking, "So how to actors and actresses who can barely read but are super-hot become actors again?"

[Enail]

Trees and rocks don't have to read too well!

[Datelessman]

Trees and rocks don't have to read too well!

As they say on Family Feud, "Good answer! Good answer!"

[inbloomer]

The teacher said we'd have to pick an object that we had to "become" by the end of the course to pass (i.e. a tree, a rock, etc.).

I sort of wonder if it's a form of hazing, to weed out anyone who's not going to be super-committed. I find it quite odd that exercises like that really are the equivalent of scales and arpeggios for musicians. Like, do Daniel Day-Lewis or Meryl Streep warm up for a performance by pretending to be an acorn?


Anyway, on all the previous I had one further thought on reflection. As like is drawn to like, I suspect some of the women I've been talking about (especially this latest) themselves had fears and issues around intimacy, so may always have been at some risk of self-sabotaging and running away just when the connection was getting too real. The obvious problem is that those who have no such problems tend not to stay single for long.

[Datelessman]

I sort of wonder if it's a form of hazing, to weed out anyone who's not going to be super-committed. I find it quite odd that exercises like that really are the equivalent of scales and arpeggios for musicians. Like, do Daniel Day-Lewis or Meryl Streep warm up for a performance by pretending to be an acorn?

Considering these are things that happen very early in acting education (i.e. "Acting 101" in a community college in my case), it isn't a bad idea to "weed out" the people who can't or won't hack it as early as possible for everyone. I imagine it's a basic exercise, even if an intense one.

Truly great actors can become any character they set their minds to (although most have a "type" which they are ideally suited for, and can get "typecast" as a result). Daniel Day-Lewis is especially famous for "becoming" anyone he plays. You occasionally hear about actors doing "extreme" things for a role, like gaining weight or trying out the profession/hobby of their character. And it can get weird sometimes. I listened to a commentary for 1999's "DISNEY'S TARZAN" where the director talks about fretting about having to ask Glenn Close (who voiced Tarzan's adopted gorilla mother, Kala) to perform "monkey noises" into the mic for one scene (since the gorillas all speak "normally" to Tarzan but sound like animals to other humans). How do you ask an award winning, internationally acclaimed actress to make ape noises? But it is part of the role and it worked out fine.

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