Re: help with my Okcupid profile

[readertorider]

Look, plenty of people have been on dates and haven't applied a particular label. Both of my dating relationships only lasted a couple of months, and I'll only say that I've had a boyfriend because my ex would apparently introduce himself to my friends as "___'s boyfriend".

To turn this on it's side in one direction--what level of experience do you really think would help you in your quest for a girlfriend? If you've applied the girlfriend/boyfriend label before? If that relationship lasted X months/years? If you've been married? If you've had sex? If you've moved in? If you've been engaged? If you've had kids? Knowing that someone has had a long term relationship before hints (to me) that they know how to compromise, they know their date is a person (as opposed to just ___friend), and they have a basic grasp of how to talk to an SO and deal with problems that crop up. But that's kinda it. It ultimately doesn't mean a thing about how they would act in a relationship with me or the new challenges that would crop up. And they probably have some bad habits.

I'm sorry you're unhappy, but the whole concept of "keep me from ever having a girlfriend" just seems weird to me. Worry that you won't find the right person I can sorta understand, but worry that there's something wrong with you that keeps you from having a girlfriend sounds like you're waiting for a higher power to create one from your rib and you're worried about not having that rib.

I do wish you the best of luck and happiness and finding people. It might help a bit though to remember that you're not looking for "a girlfriend" (if you are you can ask cleverbot to be your girlfriend, she(?) just said "yes" to me) you're looking for a relationship with a woman who you find desirable and makes you laugh and all that. Nobody wants to be a prize for having nothing wrong with you, they want to spend time with you because of the things that are right and interesting about you.

Edited: I really really don't want/mean to sound condescending here, but serial killers have had wonderful girlfriends and wonderful people have not--you get lucky or you don't. You might be able to become more attractive or treat people more like they want to be treated, but as long as you're alive you have a non-zero chance of finding companionship if you want it (and if you become undead I'll know you want me for my brain and it'll be quite the complement)