Re: Splitting the bill on dates

[eselle28]

One of the effects of people walking away before a first date materializes is that I've also spent a lot of time contemplating the ways people might want to walk away during said date. Casual hangouts, coffee shops, snack bars, sushi tracks, and other small- or gradual-portion restaurants seem like optimal choices. (They're also pretty much the only choices I can think of anyway, aside from obviously actual bars and strip clubs.)

Those are all generally good first date choices. There are also regular restaurants, movies, concerts, museums, and so on, but those do offer fewer escape hatches for people who've never met each other before. When I go on those sorts of first dates, it's generally with the attitude that I'll enjoy the activity even if I don't enjoy the other person so much.

As for strip clubs, beats me. Wouldn't surprise me too much, though. "Bars and strip clubs" also pretty much enumerates all the places you could go to do things without children being underfoot (which a lot of people also seem to care pretty strongly about) so....

I'm sure it's happened because if you take a large enough sample you'll find people who've done just about anything, but I've never heard of anyone going on an early-stage date to a strip club. Aside from the obvious, that would be a very expensive date. I guess I took a third date to a burlesque show once, but that was because a woman I knew was dancing and I didn't want to miss it.

Is the having kids around issue such a big deal for people? I'm probably way less interested in interacting with children than the norm, but I haven't had an especially hard time finding cafes or restaurants that are mostly populated by adults during evening hours. There will might be one or two families in places like that, but I can't really see that ruining a date.

[jcorozza]

The kid thing never would have even occurred to me - I've had two first dates at zoos, so clearly I don't care about this! Because, even if the guy's a dud, at least I got to see some otters!

[Guest]

I have done zoo dates, too! And aquarium dates. Fun was had.

[eselle28]

I have also done zoo dates, and aquarium dates, and museum dates

I've actually found them to be pretty good measures of compatibility.

[jcorozza]

True - if a guys says, "nah, zoos/aquariums are lame", that means I don't need to bother to go on that date!

[Wondering]

My husband and I talked about doing a date at the local zoo/aquarium and one at the state history museum back when we were first dating. We didn't get around to the museum for four years and the zoo until after we were married, though.

And yeah, kids underfoot would never be something I'd ever consider except for not going to a clearly kid-specific place or Disney movie matinees (always go to Disney/Pixar late at night!), but that's true for me date or no date.

Otters were mentioned, so I must link this:


Erm, here's the link if the video doesn't work:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wavh47RpLz4

[nearly_takuan]

True - if a guys says, "nah, zoos/aquariums are lame", that means I don't need to bother to go on that date!

Calling another person's suggestion lame is not a reliable way to improve your standing with them, experts say.

"It blew my mind when I found out," says a recent initiate in the field of not being a terrible person who wishes to remain anonymous. "It was like, phwoar, I probably wouldn't be thrilled to have an activity I enjoy insulted either, especially if I liked it enough to suggest it as a fun activity."

But not everyone's preferences are the same, detractors claim. "Sure, not everyone appreciates it when you go around being bluntly mean to everyone," admits an anonymous responder with decades of experience as an absolute boor, "and maybe I wouldn't either. But it's not like I ever have to put up with me," they added before skipping past the bit where anyone else would reflect on the idiom "to live with oneself".

Proponents of the standoffish-reclusive model of social noninteraction were unavailable for comment.

[jcorozza]

That video is awesome. Everything otters do is adorable.

[PintsizeBro]

Nearly, you should write for The Onion.

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