Re: Random Thoughts: The Randoming

[nearly_takuan]

Oh, it was always a massive waste of time, but when I taught as a grad student we were required to do it, and so I kept doing it the first couple of semesters after that.  And after thinking about it, I really didn't want to interact with my students' hobbies or personal lives.  I wanted to keep things relevant to math.

So after that I used the first 20 minutes to go over the syllabus and then broke students up into groups, and handed them a packet of problems titled "Review of Prerequisite Knowledge".  It worked well, and surprisingly, I had a lot of students tell me that they really liked that as a first-day activity.

Yeah, those kinds of things went much better for me.

There was still posturing and faking, of course, but it was significantly more navigable. Easy enough for me to just pretend there was one or two things I was still fuzzy on, so the other people in my group had opportunities to "help" and show off and feel good and be friendly. In more advanced classes when we did stuff like that, we all pretty much knew each other already anyway, so it was a more genuinely fun and interesting exercise in comparing and contrasting proof styles.

[reboot]

Here is a huge generational difference. The only icebreaker I had in " hard " science classes was "Look to your left, look to your right, one of you will fail this class"

I would have preferred discussing hobbies, so I wonder if my generating invented the stupid icebreaker?

[nearly_takuan]

I've suddenly become extremely popular on LinkedIn, getting some pretty awesome-sounding invitations to come apply or even skip to interviewing for jobs that sound incredibly well-tuned to my interests.

Except, I've only been in my new job for a month now, and I already love it, and they need me right now, and I'm pretty big on loyalty, and given that I quit my previous job after less than two years I kind of need to prove it....

Gah. That dude who walked out our door and only later emailed us to explain that he had already quit our company to work somewhere else is still so fresh in my mind, I can't imagine leaving, even if I could give months of notice. Especially because a lot of the skills I've recently picked up that make me feel good about my qualifications for these other jobs are the direct result of challenges this company has placed in front of me. I'm getting more than my salary out of our "relationship".

But...a smallish-but-well-funded company, offering competitive salaries, that actually has direct involvement in the local education system and is branching into public health and safety interests? Where were you, three months ago?!

[The Wisp]

Tinder seems to have a reputation as a hook-up app, which is odd because it doesn't actually seem to be used that way. You're probably as likely to get a hook-up from OkCupid as Tinder, if my second-hand anecdata and looking at the women's profiles are accurate (many women on Tinder explicitly say "I don't want to hook-up").

[Guest]

Tinder's become a fucking joke tbh.

[eselle28]

Tinder seems to have a reputation as a hook-up app, which is odd because it doesn't actually seem to be used that way. You're probably as likely to get a hook-up from OkCupid as Tinder, if my second-hand anecdata and looking at the women's profiles are accurate (many women on Tinder explicitly say "I don't want to hook-up").

Tinder was designed to be a hookup app, which is why it has that reputation. It turned out that the user base interested in it was broader than that, because some people looking to date liked the simpler profile format and others just viewed it as a second free dating site that could supplement OkCupid. I think all of this year's OkCupid dates, including the current boyfriend, were also on Tinder. Some of them were explicitly and exclusively looking for long term relationships, so I think the drift has happened on both sides of the gender divide.

It's happened with other sites too. OkCupid didn't really mean to be the meeting place for people interested in non-traditional relationships. It's just that it didn't actively discriminate against people with partners or censor references to fetishes, so it felt like a safe place for various communities and word got around. I'd be surprised if Craigslist's personals intended on being the go to place to find sex workers or people to have affairs with, but requiring little information and lax enforcement of lenient rules meant it turned into that in most cities.

I'd be kind of interested in seeing whether Tinder launches some kind of Tinder After Dark side app in a couple of years, for the people who really are only looking to hook up.

[eselle28]

I've suddenly become extremely popular on LinkedIn, getting some pretty awesome-sounding invitations to come apply or even skip to interviewing for jobs that sound incredibly well-tuned to my interests.

Except, I've only been in my new job for a month now, and I already love it, and they need me right now, and I'm pretty big on loyalty, and given that I quit my previous job after less than two years I kind of need to prove it....

Gah. That dude who walked out our door and only later emailed us to explain that he had already quit our company to work somewhere else is still so fresh in my mind, I can't imagine leaving, even if I could give months of notice. Especially because a lot of the skills I've recently picked up that make me feel good about my qualifications for these other jobs are the direct result of challenges this company has placed in front of me. I'm getting more than my salary out of our "relationship".

But...a smallish-but-well-funded company, offering competitive salaries, that actually has direct involvement in the local education system and is branching into public health and safety interests? Where were you, three months ago?!

Oh. Ouch. I've been there and I'm sorry. Doesn't it always seem to work like that?

Are you in a field where something like an informational interview for networking purposes would be considered acceptable? It sounds like your current job is a pretty good gig, and I would say that a job that that you can love and that's teaching you valuable things after you've started and been there a month is a pretty valuable thing, given that not everything that sounds good in an interview is quite what's promised when you show up. Still...there's something to be said for meeting people who you might want to know better in the future, if that's something you could do without ruffling feathers at either place.

[BasedBuzzed]

Isn't there something like an interview rejection letter that's still thanking them for the offer and that you'll keep tabs on them for future career changes? I swear I read an article about it somewhere.

[nearly_takuan]

Still can't do the templated letter thing under any circumstances, but I generally do the following:

• The first sentence briefly indicates that I'm not available for a new job "at this time", in case they want to be done reading after that.
  
• I explain, again briefly, a couple of my reasons: I point out that my current job is very fresh (everything attached to that is left unsaid, but I assume most people understand what that means), and admit that I like it where I work so it's not like I'm actually unhappy with that choice or playing hard-to-get.
  
• I specify what, if anything, stands out to me about the job description as being really cool.
  
• Sometimes I do mention that I'll be sure to watch for their organization in the future.
  
• I wish them luck on finding the right person for their business needs.
  

I've thought about asking both parties about the idea of doing an interview for the practice/experience/networking, but I doubt anyone would be pleased about it. The other company is looking to hire someone, not train someone else's employee, and my own company wants me to work for them during a workday, not run off to talk to another organization about unrelated subjects.

I also, incidentally, don't have full benefits for another couple of months, and that includes being able to take time off or "work from home". So, that also makes meeting another company for interviews somewhat difficult.

[Guest]

This happens to me constantly. For whatever reason, I am a very popular person on LinkedIn, and I get an average of 3 or so recruiting messages every week.

(I will note that people who are already employed are MUCH more attractive job candidates, because the company doing the recruiting has incontrovertible evidence that the candidate is employable. It the company they're employed with is a good company, so much the better! It's like a subtle kind of prescreening.)

I honestly don't even reply to most of them at this point, but when I get them from companies which I feel like I should take seriously, because I might be interested in working for them one day (Google, Amazon, iRobot, etc), I send a letter that runs something like this,

"Hi, Bob!

Thanks for reaching out. I'm very happy with my current employment, and have no interest in moving, but I appreciate your interest. Can I reach out to you if my situation changes in the next few years?

Best of luck finding someone for the role!"

Some of them say, "Absolutely, thanks," and I add them to my LinkedIn connections. Some continue to press me: "Can we find 15 minutes to talk on the phone? Just to see if you have anyone else we might consider!" and those I put into my "forget" bin.

But I have gotten interviews based on reaching back out to those people years after their initial contact, so it's worth taking seriously.

[Werel]

Protip: taking the earliest Amtrak of the morning means you might just get a whole car to yourself, so you can do quiet iPod karaoke without bothering anyone.

[The Wisp]

Tinder's become a fucking joke tbh.

Tell me about it. I've deleted Tinder from my phone at this point. Lots of clearly half-assed and inactive profiles, joke profiles, bots, women never messaging you first on the rare occasion you do match (people used to claim the matching system would lead women to message first more because they wouldn't be inundated with messages... how naive), etc.

I'm increasingly convinced that OLD is just really hard for young hetero men for various reasons (most young women who want to date guys their age can easily find them IRL and so many either don't use OLD or half-ass the whole thing, very few mid-to-late 20s women are open to dating or even hooking up with early-20s men, the young women on OLD are getting flooded with messages from men who are older and thus more likely to be more established, more confident, and more able to lead interesting lives). It seems like it gets much better in your late-20s, though.

I think it's worth having an OkC profile just in case, but I'm not counting on it.

EDIT:

Tinder was designed to be a hookup app, which is why it has that reputation. It turned out that the user base interested in it was broader than that, because some people looking to date liked the simpler profile format and others just viewed it as a second free dating site that could supplement OkCupid. I think all of this year's OkCupid dates, including the current boyfriend, were also on Tinder. Some of them were explicitly and exclusively looking for long term relationships, so I think the drift has happened on both sides of the gender divide.

...

I'd be kind of interested in seeing whether Tinder launches some kind of Tinder After Dark side app in a couple of years, for the people who really are only looking to hook up.

That sounds right. I would also be interested to see if there ever is a "Tinder After Dark" app and if it would work. The formula for a successful pure hook-up app/site for heterosexuals seems elusive. They all seem to either drift into becoming generic dating apps/sites, or the gender ratio becomes very extreme which then often leads them to be flooded with cam girls/prostitutes.

My inner pessimist would say that Tinder After Dark would have horrible gender ratios, and that even many women who are looking for hook-ups would stay on vanilla Tinder for various reasons.

[eselle28]

I haven't even finished my afghan yet, and I already have a new project in mind. I mean, once I learned there were patterns in adult sizes, how could I resist?

[waxingjaney]

Looks cozy. Just hope you don't have a potty emergency.

Does it have a matching clamshell bikini top pattern?

[Guest]

Tell me about it. I've deleted Tinder from my phone at this point. Lots of clearly half-assed and inactive profiles, joke profiles, bots, women never messaging you first on the rare occasion you do match (people used to claim the matching system would lead women to message first more because they wouldn't be inundated with messages... how naive), etc.

I'm increasingly convinced that OLD is just really hard for young hetero men for various reasons (most young women who want to date guys their age can easily find them IRL and so many either don't use OLD or half-ass the whole thing, very few mid-to-late 20s women are open to dating or even hooking up with early-20s men, the young women on OLD are getting flooded with messages from men who are older and thus more likely to be more established, more confident, and more able to lead interesting lives). It seems like it gets much better in your late-20s, though.

I think it's worth having an OkC profile just in case, but I'm not counting on it.

The reason I have such ill-will towards Tinder is because of all the stupid bots on it. It pisses me off just how many bots are on that and I fell for one once who seemed legit complete with Instagram profile and everything. So, I don't have a very friendly attitude towards Tinder, hell to the no. I don't consider myself to be OMFG SO HOT, but I'm not ugly, I guess. I like to think of myself being on the Seth Rogen side of appearance.

[The Wisp]

The Denver International Airport conspiracy theories are pretty hilarious.

[caliseivy]

I decided to try out a new brand and flavor of greek yogurt, even giving fat free a chance.
It has a texture like marshmallow fluff and tastes like canned whip cream's knockoff.
I'll be making a mental note to stay away from the vanilla cupcake one next time.

[Guest]

Gaaaaugh. Lookin for a new jaub suuuucks. D:

[reboot]

I decided to try out a new brand and flavor of greek yogurt, even giving fat free a chance.
It has a texture like marshmallow fluff and tastes like canned whip cream's knockoff.
I'll be making a mental note to stay away from the vanilla cupcake one next time.

Not a rant, but if you want good yoghurt, make your own. It so easy that even my lazy, cooking is a chore butt does it: recipe

[eselle28]

A bard who's not a spy, a ne'er do well, or a musician...but rather, a dorky history grad student? You know, at least so far, it's kind of working.

[Guest]

It feels like they totally forgot about Jacqui Briggs...

And whose idea was it to make Batman look like Chappie/Briareos Hecatonchires?

[nearly_takuan]

It is difficult for me to determine by audio cues alone whether the characters in The Walking Dead are having a bad time, having a good time, or encountering zombies.

[The Wisp]

Whenever I see Plenty of Fish's url, I read it as "Plenty Off-ish"

[reboot]

If I did not know better I would swear this letter is from my friend who just filed for legal separation from her husband

[nearly_takuan]

Got a ping on OKC tonight from a woman who:
a) uses a screen name that is phonetically equal to a handle I've been using in quite a lot of other contexts since I was in elementary school
b) lives in Sweden and has, as far as I know, really no business viewing or "liking" my profile

It's probably just coincidence.

---

In other news, since they added new checkboxes to express variants on (a)sexuality, I've discovered a third cross-section of people to consistently find incompatibilities with: aromantics.

At least they usually have fun blog links to read.

[Sponsored content]