Rants
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Re: Rants
by nearly_takuan Fri Oct 17, 2014 9:08 pm
Really?
We've known each other for almost six years now, and we've been roommates for five. And I'm an "enigma"?
It's not like you talk about yourself a whole lot, either, but you're an open book. I actually don't understand how any one person could possibly not be an open book after five goddamn years of cohabitation. I know what you like, and what you're thinking, and how you're feeling, and whether you're sick or dealing with allergies. The weather and your general mood tells me what you're planning to eat for dinner, and when. I've learned which chores you find satisfying and relaxing, and which chores bore and aggravate you, and which ones might as well be invisible. (Then again, I probably haven't learned which chores you do that are invisible to me.)
In retrospect it was mean, but that time when you willfully pursued that super toxic guy? I made an informal $0 bet on how long it'd last. No, I didn't know it would fail that spectacularly, but I won that goddamn bet. That was after one year of being an acquaintance of yours.
Your description of my personality is that I'm a freaking enigma? Are you for real?
We've known each other for almost six years now, and we've been roommates for five. And I'm an "enigma"?
It's not like you talk about yourself a whole lot, either, but you're an open book. I actually don't understand how any one person could possibly not be an open book after five goddamn years of cohabitation. I know what you like, and what you're thinking, and how you're feeling, and whether you're sick or dealing with allergies. The weather and your general mood tells me what you're planning to eat for dinner, and when. I've learned which chores you find satisfying and relaxing, and which chores bore and aggravate you, and which ones might as well be invisible. (Then again, I probably haven't learned which chores you do that are invisible to me.)
In retrospect it was mean, but that time when you willfully pursued that super toxic guy? I made an informal $0 bet on how long it'd last. No, I didn't know it would fail that spectacularly, but I won that goddamn bet. That was after one year of being an acquaintance of yours.
Your description of my personality is that I'm a freaking enigma? Are you for real?
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Re: Rants
by Conreezy Fri Oct 17, 2014 11:52 pm
UristMcBunny wrote:Second time in ONE FUCKING WEEK that one of our cats has shit ON THE FUCKING BED. This time she shat right on my other half's work uniform, which he'd draped on the end of the bed when he got home today.
It's always the same cat and she knows it's wrong because she does it in the tiny frame of time when I'm not upstairs. She has always been fine with the litter tray. The tray is kept clean with fresh litter. But for two weeks we had the tray upstairs while dealing with fleas in the stairwell and now she chooses to shit in our bed rather than in the litter tray downstairs. To the point that we will carry her downstairs twice a day to the tray, and she'll pee in it but SAVE HER SHIT for the bed. And she's not sick, we've checked. She's just being a little ratbag.
I have had to launder my quilt THREE TIMES IN THREE WEEKS. IN AUTUMN. WHEN IT'S RAINING HALF THE WEEK. WHICH MEANS FOR HALF THE LAST THREE WEEKS I HAVE HAD TO GO WITHOUT A QUILT.
That's it. I'm done. We've tried every gentle positive reinforcement thing we can do and it hasn't worked. Tomorrow I am locking her downstairs. She will have food, water and litter and she can fucking well stay down there until she learns where pooping happens.
No, cat. You are NOT going to get to have a litter tray in the tiny office space upstairs. Or our bedroom. We are NOT sleeping within smelling distance of your inadequately buried shit.
My cat used to claw at me from the counter when I used the toilet. One day, I peed in his litter to show him who was boss. It never happened again.
I have no idea if this would help your situation, but it's an option, and it's all I have to offer.
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Re: Rants
by Guest Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:45 am
Werel wrote:Dang, Mikey, sorry to hear reading threads around here is feeling the opposite of helpful. Are there any specific ideas or themes that crop up a lot which you're finding especially bothersome?
A lot of things, actually.
- Spoiler:
(I'm trying to inject some Mikey-brand/style of humor into this, please forgive me)
Shyness, analysis paralysis, approach anxiety, my inability to detect interest, me not wanting to bother women, my inability to seriously flirt or an idea of how that works at all, no idea what it means to own my sexuality as a man or how to even be sexual as a man, shame of being a dude, no idea how to navigate the OLD thing without closing the browser window, not wanting to lose the lady-friends I'm attracted to by sharing my feelings with them, I don't think women like me much for whatever reason, I don't want to creep out women, my irrational fear of rejection, me racking my brain at what the hell is the next step when I can possibly step on a romantic/social landmine, and the list goes on since I can't remember all of it.
This one really hit home because I've been trying a lot of the things suggested to me here in that post and in the other threads much to no avail. I had read Monday's Ask DNL and saw that Arden wrote that "You have to think of guys as scared and confused little creatures who constantly fear laughter and rejection." That is very much true of myself!
Ugh.
No, I don't get angry, I get sad. :\ What's there to be angry about? I'm just a shy kid that doesn't want to get hurt is all. I know it's all about confidence and whatever, yes, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm confident in a lot of areas but girls and dating & whatever I'm not. I tell myself to give up, but my head won't let me.
If you talk to me you'll see I'm actually pretty upbeat, sometimes I'm wise, other times I'm a dumb ass, I like cracking jokes (even unfunny ones), I can be lively, I can be eccentric. Moody is not a mode I'm usually in.
Now I'm rambling. I'll stop now. Here, so you aren't as depressed as I am is a link to a Louis CK joke.
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Re: Rants
by nearly_takuan Sat Oct 18, 2014 4:21 am
Pertaining somewhat to what I am now calling the "heysayers" of OLD—
Thanks for the laffs.
You wrote:The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I like men. Not boys. Not guys. MEN. Ages 24-36.
Sometimes I am racist. Extremely preferential to dating/being involved with white guys over everyone else. It's more of a preference. And if you have a problem with that, then piss off and look at some reason else's profile.
You wrote:You should message me if
I want a friendship that will have the potential to blossom into a committed, monogamous long - term relationship, with someone who respects me just as much as I respect him. We will be honest and loyal to each other at all times, no exceptions allowed. Disagreements always happen, but it's perfectly healthy to engage in heated debates and silly arguments from time to time. I hope you're ready for a girlfriend who will challenge you at every opportunity, who will support you through times of strife, and who will be there to celebrate your accomplishments with you. Maybe I will even want to take our relationship to the next level once we both feel emotionally ready for progress.
P.S. If you're not from Washington State, don't bother messaging me. I'm not interested in long - distance pen pals, I actually want to go out on dates with hot guys. Men. Hot men. Ages 21-35.
I can't even begin to guess what your agenda might be, but it seems to me that you can't either. Er, good luck with that.You wrote:I’m looking for
Everybody
Ages 23–30
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
Thanks for the laffs.
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Re: Rants
by Werel Sat Oct 18, 2014 7:17 pm
The Mikey wrote:
A lot of things, actually.
Don't want to derail the rants too bad, so I'll spoiler my response. And if you just wanted to vent, you don't have to read it.
- Spoiler:
- Shyness, analysis paralysis, approach anxiety, my inability to detect interest, me not wanting to bother women, my inability to seriously flirt or an idea of how that works at all, no idea what it means to own my sexuality as a man or how to even be sexual as a man, shame of being a dude, no idea how to navigate the OLD thing without closing the browser window, not wanting to lose the lady-friends I'm attracted to by sharing my feelings with them, I don't think women like me much for whatever reason, I don't want to creep out women, my irrational fear of rejection, me racking my brain at what the hell is the next step when I can possibly step on a romantic/social landmine, and the list goes on since I can't remember all of it.
WHEW, that's a hell of a lot of things to be stressing about simultaneously.
Each of them is probably worth a huge long thread, but here's my quick take, FWIW: a lot of the dude-shame/creep-fear/sexuality-owning-trouble you're feeling might be a side effect of having and growing empathy for women. The more you learn, the more you understand women's experiences, the more you want to not be a jerk in the ways you're reading about. And to me, that just speaks to you being a kind and decent person who's really interested in not making anybody's life worse. That's good stuff, man. Plus, you seem like one of the least creepy people in the world from what you post here.
Do you mean that women don't like you much romantically, or just in general? If you've got female friends, you're probably not suffering from any kind of Women Hate Me Syndrome. And fear of rejection isn't irrational. Rejection blows ass. I don't think there's any way around that.This one really hit home because I've been trying a lot of the things suggested to me here in that post and in the other threads much to no avail. I had read Monday's Ask DNL and saw that Arden wrote that "You have to think of guys as scared and confused little creatures who constantly fear laughter and rejection." That is very much true of myself! Ugh.
You should think of women that way, too, come to think of it.
At the end of the day, most people are pretty confused and afraid of rejection.
And advice columnists have to sound like they've got all the answers, and what they're proposing will work, cause that's their job. But you know there's no magic bullet-- even if you followed the very best advice down to the letter, and executed all the tips and suggestions perfectly, there's too much variability in interpersonal relationships for it to work every time. It's not an indictment of your value if someone's advice doesn't immediately result in a stampede of girls trying to date you. There's no flowchart, you just gotta keep button-mashing until something hits.No, I don't get angry, I get sad. :\ What's there to be angry about? I'm just a shy kid that doesn't want to get hurt is all. I know it's all about confidence and whatever, yes, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm confident in a lot of areas but girls and dating & whatever I'm not. I tell myself to give up, but my head won't let me.
This is what's great about you: you realize it's not about getting angry or blaming anybody. You never blame anybody or get bitter or mean! I don't think I've ever seen you post an unkind word about anybody. It's a really charming characteristic, and I am not an oracle but I think it's a trait that will serve you well in relationships.
Anyway, Mikey, I don't have any good answers, or much insight into how to be a dude and deal with women, but don't give up. You seem like a dude with a lot to offer, and this internet stranger is pretty sure it'll happen for you in time.
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Re: Rants
by The Wisp Sat Oct 18, 2014 7:19 pm
Some of the responses to the California college rap laws from prominent media figures of both the right and left have been horrifying. Anybody who doubts that society actually hates male sexuality as much as female sexuality should read Ezra Klein or Ross Douthat on the law.
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Re: Rants
by Guest Sat Oct 18, 2014 9:44 pm
Werel wrote:
Don't want to derail the rants too bad, so I'll spoiler my response. And if you just wanted to vent, you don't have to read it.
Aw, thank you, Werel. -hugs-
I too shall do the same.
- Spoiler:
- WHEW, that's a hell of a lot of things to be stressing about simultaneously. Each of them is probably worth a huge long thread, but here's my quick take, FWIW: a lot of the dude-shame/creep-fear/sexuality-owning-trouble you're feeling might be a side effect of having and growing empathy for women. The more you learn, the more you understand women's experiences, the more you want to not be a jerk in the ways you're reading about. And to me, that just speaks to you being a kind and decent person who's really interested in not making anybody's life worse. That's good stuff, man. Plus, you seem like one of the least creepy people in the world from what you post here.
I certainly understand and empathize with the struggle of women. I have female friends who've been harassed either by exes or creeped out by folks in our classes, cat-called & whatever and it makes me an oh so sad panda. More for them than the fellas who did any wrongdoing. And yeah that sounds about right, the last the thing I wanna do is be another swingin' dick bothering some poor woman. I also appreciate seeming like one of the least creepy people in the world.
Do you mean that women don't like you much romantically, or just in general? If you've got female friends, you're probably not suffering from any kind of Women Hate Me Syndrome. And fear of rejection isn't irrational. Rejection blows ass. I don't think there's any way around that.
I mean romantically, and I don't mean hate either. Yes, I do have female friends, but that's about as far as our relationships would go. I also know that women don't actually hate me, because nobody ever really, truly, deeply hates anyone. We throw 'hate' around in jest, but we never really mean it. Which is why I just say they don't like me, or rather don't like me enough or don't like me that, etc.
You should think of women that way, too, come to think of it. At the end of the day, most people are pretty confused and afraid of rejection.
Some less so than others, it appears. ;D But that makes sense too.
And advice columnists have to sound like they've got all the answers, and what they're proposing will work, cause that's their job. But you know there's no magic bullet-- even if you followed the very best advice down to the letter, and executed all the tips and suggestions perfectly, there's too much variability in interpersonal relationships for it to work every time. It's not an indictment of your value if someone's advice doesn't immediately result in a stampede of girls trying to date you. There's no flowchart, you just gotta keep button-mashing until something hits.
Yes, chaos theory at work, unfortunately. And button mashing? Girl, this ain't Smash Bros.! This is real lyfe.This is what's great about you: you realize it's not about getting angry or blaming anybody. You never blame anybody or get bitter or mean! I don't think I've ever seen you post an unkind word about anybody. It's a really charming characteristic, and I am not an oracle but I think it's a trait that will serve you well in relationships.
I was born without that malice. Maybe in the past I've been an asshole, but that's because I didn't know any better, or I was angry. The only time I'm mean or bitter is when I'm angry, other than that, it's all cool. When somebody tells me they don't like something because XYZ I usually respond with "Aw, well that's too bad." The only time I'll speak unkindly of somebody is if they did something to me personally, so I can't even fully talk shit about politicians, just shake my head. The way I see is, I don't have a reason to speak unkindly of people, so why would I?
Anyway, Mikey, I don't have any good answers, or much insight into how to be a dude and deal with women, but don't give up. You seem like a dude with a lot to offer, and this internet stranger is pretty sure it'll happen for you in time.
That's okay, it just means I gotta keep messing with it and see where I land. And that's what some of my female friends have told me, one said "you're the reality!". Another said I was quite a catch and one recently said that I'm actually a great guy and before that way back when another female friend said I had a cute personality. So, no, I'm not entirely useless, it just feels like I am.
But thank you again. -hugs-
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Re: Rants
by eselle28 Mon Oct 20, 2014 2:11 am
You might not be from the Midwest originally, neighbor, but you have the passive aggressive bit down already. Complimenting someone's patio decor and then adding meaningfully that it might be a bit too intense for your little one to walk by every morning is a masterful move. I'm just going to hope that, "Children can be so unpredictable. You just never know how they react until they experience something," is sufficient for me not to have to hear about this again.
This is the terrifying creation at issue:
This is the terrifying creation at issue:
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Re: Rants
by The Wisp Mon Oct 20, 2014 4:48 pm
I'm so sick of the neurobabble that gets published in mainstream news sources that breathlessly reports on how men are better than women at x or (much more often) women are better at men at y. Why do they think that? Because their extremely contrived isolated lab study said so.
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Re: Rants
by Robjection Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:08 pm
Pop quiz: I am on the road in a car travelling at around 20 mph, you are walking in the middle of the lane I am in, you are walking towards me, you are showing no signs of physical health problems and there is ample room for a human being to walk on the pavement mere feet from where you are. Do you:
a) Hurry over to the pavement before you get run over, or
b) Tell me to drive around you, hoping I can understand your sign language and/or am a good lip reader?
I'm sorry mister, but the correct answer was a). You pompous entitled doucheprick. You're lucky that there was nothing coming the other way so I actually could go around.
a) Hurry over to the pavement before you get run over, or
b) Tell me to drive around you, hoping I can understand your sign language and/or am a good lip reader?
I'm sorry mister, but the correct answer was a). You pompous entitled doucheprick. You're lucky that there was nothing coming the other way so I actually could go around.
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Re: Rants
by Guest Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:49 am
OK, so you told me that I had to sit and listen to you in silence while you declared your love for me in the middle of Charles de Gaulle airport. We've been friends (oh I'm sorry, "friends" as it turns out you had an agenda) for eight years so I gave you that even though it was very obvious that you were making me uncomfortable. Here's what you now don't get to do:
* List all the little things I've done that have "made" you love me so, actually, it's kind of my fault
* Make me listen while you analyse all of my past actions to prove how I've totally led you on (now with bonus ambiguous rape threat!)
* Try to control my emotional reaction to your bombshell by telling me I'm not allowed to get upset
Here's what the friendzone looks like from the other side, Nice Guys™! But sure, I'm probably just a selfish whore who's been stringing along my beta male friend to get.. uh... free drinks? (I don't know what the rewards are supposed to be. I assumed it involved, like, alcohol and presents.) The heart wants what it wants, but I feel really betrayed today.
* List all the little things I've done that have "made" you love me so, actually, it's kind of my fault
* Make me listen while you analyse all of my past actions to prove how I've totally led you on (now with bonus ambiguous rape threat!)
* Try to control my emotional reaction to your bombshell by telling me I'm not allowed to get upset
Here's what the friendzone looks like from the other side, Nice Guys™! But sure, I'm probably just a selfish whore who's been stringing along my beta male friend to get.. uh... free drinks? (I don't know what the rewards are supposed to be. I assumed it involved, like, alcohol and presents.) The heart wants what it wants, but I feel really betrayed today.
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Re: Rants
by reboundstudent Tue Oct 21, 2014 11:00 am
That sucks, embertine. :-( It's also discouraging to discover someone was friends with you under false pretenses.
I have a headache all day for the last 5 days. It's an aching, as opposed to throbbing, headache. Drugs make it tolerable, but it is always omnipresent. There will be at least 3-4 points during the day where the room suddenly starts spinning (sometimes I'm even laying down when it does that. How does that work?) It is really chagrining my sparkle.
I have a headache all day for the last 5 days. It's an aching, as opposed to throbbing, headache. Drugs make it tolerable, but it is always omnipresent. There will be at least 3-4 points during the day where the room suddenly starts spinning (sometimes I'm even laying down when it does that. How does that work?) It is really chagrining my sparkle.
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Re: Rants
by reboot Tue Oct 21, 2014 11:17 am
RBS, it kind of sounds like a migraine and sounds awful.
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Re: Rants
by Guest Tue Oct 21, 2014 11:23 am
Exactly, and I thought he was one of my two closest friends as well. So I suppose I'm grieving not only for our friendship in the present and future, but also in the past. 
Not good on the headache - any possibility you have an ear infection? As an aside, I am loving the phrase "chagrining my sparkle".
Not good on the headache - any possibility you have an ear infection? As an aside, I am loving the phrase "chagrining my sparkle".
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Re: Rants
by reboundstudent Tue Oct 21, 2014 11:26 am
embertine wrote:Exactly, and I thought he was one of my two closest friends as well. So I suppose I'm grieving not only for our friendship in the present and future, but also in the past.
Not good on the headache - any possibility you have an ear infection? As an aside, I am loving the phrase "chagrining my sparkle".
Well, it's my Lady Time of the month, and I recently went off oral contraceptives, so it might have something to do with it. Talk about stuck between two horrible choices.... either suffer through excruciating physical pain once a month (migraine, cramps), or take the contraceptive, but then have 2-3 lesser-pain periods a month.
Curse being born a woman, just seriously.
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Re: Rants
by Guest Tue Oct 21, 2014 12:05 pm
embertine wrote:OK, so you told me that I had to sit and listen to you in silence while you declared your love for me in the middle of Charles de Gaulle airport. We've been friends (oh I'm sorry, "friends" as it turns out you had an agenda) for eight years so I gave you that even though it was very obvious that you were making me uncomfortable. Here's what you now don't get to do:
* List all the little things I've done that have "made" you love me so, actually, it's kind of my fault
* Make me listen while you analyse all of my past actions to prove how I've totally led you on (now with bonus ambiguous rape threat!)
* Try to control my emotional reaction to your bombshell by telling me I'm not allowed to get upset
Here's what the friendzone looks like from the other side, Nice Guys™! But sure, I'm probably just a selfish whore who's been stringing along my beta male friend to get.. uh... free drinks? (I don't know what the rewards are supposed to be. I assumed it involved, like, alcohol and presents.) The heart wants what it wants, but I feel really betrayed today.
Sounds like a really lousy situation and that you need to deal with a jerkwad. :I I do have some questions...
- Spoiler:
What I'm curious about is (I'm trying to understand the situation incase I find myself in a similar situation by accident except withthout the entitlement)... did he explicitly ask you out or did he just spill his guts about his feelings for you and explained how you "owe" him? If so, that's really shitty of him, and I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. If he did ask you out, then his reaction was rather unfortunate as well, rejections happen but no need to angry about it.
What I'm also curious about is... what if he genuinely was your friend for all those years and suddenly fell for you? I highly doubt that happened, but what if? If he genuinely did fall for you, do you think his reaction/response to your rejection be different than what went down recently? Is that how you can tell if he was genuine or not? Or would you still feel betrayed one way or another?
I know it's a lot of questions, sorry, I'm trying to understand the situation incase I find myself in a similar deal by accident except withthout the entitlement.
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Re: Rants
by BasedBuzzed Tue Oct 21, 2014 12:09 pm
Holy moly, whatever happened to "I've been harbouring a crush for a long time, so I was wondering if you'd be up to trying to date"?
Anyway, two FWBs of the past year(both now just regular friends again) seem to really connect now they've talked to each other a bit more, and it confronts me with the fact that I utterly suck at friendship upkeep once a)the spark of interest fizzles out and b)we don't see each other regularly through common social circles/hobbies anymore.
Luckily, I can remind myself I do the exact same thing with all of my dude friends, and only care the moment I feel left out of fun happenings, so this is probably just angst over something that everybody who drifts between several social circles has from time to time.
Anyway, two FWBs of the past year(both now just regular friends again) seem to really connect now they've talked to each other a bit more, and it confronts me with the fact that I utterly suck at friendship upkeep once a)the spark of interest fizzles out and b)we don't see each other regularly through common social circles/hobbies anymore.
Luckily, I can remind myself I do the exact same thing with all of my dude friends, and only care the moment I feel left out of fun happenings, so this is probably just angst over something that everybody who drifts between several social circles has from time to time.
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Re: Rants
by UristMcBunny Tue Oct 21, 2014 12:34 pm
[MOD] The Mikey, I know it can be tempting when we read things like this to want to understand them and make them okay. But a rant thread is really not the place to be questioning if someone's experiences are really what they think they are. The entire rest of the internet will analyse a woman's actions around someone who confesses a crush - I don't think we need to do the same thing here. [/MOD]
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Re: Rants
by Guest Tue Oct 21, 2014 12:40 pm
It actually was that kind of conversation, except that he started out with a big disclaimer which was "I am in love with you, will always be in love with you, and there's nothing you can do about it". Also he made me sit in silence for ten minutes while he talked himself out, which is actually very like him as he does love his scripted speeches, but was very uncomfortable for me because he so very clearly didn't actually care about my feelings at all.Holy moly, whatever happened to "I've been harbouring a crush for a long time, so I was wondering if you'd be up to trying to date"?
Mikey, he didn't say that I owed him, and he did state that he had realised gradually he was in love with me and had only known for definite for.... four years. So it's not a new thing but he wasn't trying to NiceGuy™ his way into my pants from the very start. He only got kind of confrontational about it afterwards on the plane (always nice to be bombarded by FEELINGSVOMIT when you are literally trapped!). I do/would still feel betrayed but I recognise that those are my feelings to deal with. I admire his courage in expressing his feelings because that's not something I have ever been able to do. It's just that, in retrospect, a LOT of his behaviour makes sense and I actually wouldn't have trusted him in the way that I did if I had known.
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Re: Rants
by Guest Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:36 pm
UristMcBunny wrote:[MOD] The Mikey, I know it can be tempting when we read things like this to want to understand them and make them okay. But a rant thread is really not the place to be questioning if someone's experiences are really what they think they are. The entire rest of the internet will analyse a woman's actions around someone who confesses a crush - I don't think we need to do the same thing here. [/MOD]
Gah, I'm sorry.
That's not what I wanted to do, I was honestly trying to figure out both sides of the story. I understand if she doesn't wanna talk about it and for that I sincerely apologize. (And the last thing I wanna do is say that that kind of behavior is okay in slightest, it ain't)Again, sorry.
- Spoiler:
- embertine wrote:
Mikey, he didn't say that I owed him, and he did state that he had realised gradually he was in love with me and had only known for definite for.... four years. So it's not a new thing but he wasn't trying to NiceGuy
his way into my pants from the very start. He only got kind of confrontational about it afterwards on the plane (always nice to be bombarded by FEELINGSVOMIT when you are literally trapped!). I do/would still feel betrayed but I recognise that those are my feelings to deal with. I admire his courage in expressing his feelings because that's not something I have ever been able to do. It's just that, in retrospect, a LOT of his behaviour makes sense and I actually wouldn't have trusted him in the way that I did if I had known.
Aha, well, if that's how you feel, that's how you feel; can't change what your gut tells ya.
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Re: Rants
by The Wisp Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:59 pm
That sucks embertine. It sounds like he picked probably the worst time to drop that, and then on top of that didn't handle it well. I hope you feel better soon.
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Re: Rants
by UristMcBunny Tue Oct 21, 2014 4:26 pm
That's okay Mikey, and I really appreciate you apologising. We all make mistakes.
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Re: Rants
by Guest Tue Oct 21, 2014 4:29 pm
Also, Mikey PM'd me to apologise and we have had a good convo about it. We are cool.
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Re: Rants
by UristMcBunny Tue Oct 21, 2014 9:45 pm
Ahahaha yes, now I remember. THIS is why I put off joining reddit for as long as I did.
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Re: Rants
by nearly_takuan Wed Oct 22, 2014 3:17 am
embertine wrote:He only got kind of confrontational about it afterwards on the plane (always nice to be bombarded by FEELINGSVOMIT when you are literally trapped!). I do/would still feel betrayed but I recognise that those are my feelings to deal with. I admire his courage in expressing his feelings because that's not something I have ever been able to do.
Before we give him too much credit for being courageous, I wish to point out that it can feel easier to express your feelings when there's minimal possibility of an immediate and strongly negative reaction thanks to context (e.g. you both being confined to a plane).
I mean, it's what I would do.
If I didn't care about other people.
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