Re: Rants

[Werel]

When my SO suddenly falls very ill, and I realize there is no one within many time zones who I could call to just cry because I'm worried and scared: this has shaken me to my core.

[The Wisp]

Oh man, that sounds awful Werel.

I hope everything turns out okay.

[Guest]

I'm so sorry Werel, that absolutely sucks. I know how scary it is to feel isolated when things go wrong. Hope SO (and you) feel better very soon.

[azazel]

Well cracked, it's fine by me if you need to ridicule the misogynistic views of some MRA's that women shouldn't complain about their issues because men have issues too. But could you please do it without ridiculing real issues men face? I'd think it would be more productive to solve all the issues.

Unfortunately, male-on-female violence is perceived as more serious than female-on-male violence, because a lot of the time, it is more serious. For example, in 2007 1,640 women were killed by their intimate partners, compared with 700 men.

I'm glad you think 700 men dying is nothing to be concerned about. I would personally say that the fact that one third of a group of victims had no resources to fall back on is something to be concerned about, while also still being concerned about the other two third of the group. But apparently you and I disagree on that.

I also like how you keep droning on about how the average man is stronger than the average woman (with a hint of real men don't let themselves get abused/the idea of women abusing men is just ridiculous!), while I never knew that if I hit someone else we then have to arm wrestle to determine our difference in strength to make sure I get an appropriate jail sentence.

Fuck you cracked. Fuck you and your sexism.

[Guest]

Further to my previous, possibly-ex-friend has now sent me a five page letter detailing all the rules I have to follow to repair our friendship after his ill-timed declaration of love.  I read the letter carefully through twice, then went to buy some firelighters and ceremonially burnt it in a blaze of righteous fury in the garden.  I feel better, anyway.

[reboot]

Ugh, embertine. The worst part about this is now you know that for eight years you trusted and were close to the type of person who would send that letter :/

At least you had fun burning it.

[Guest]

Ahhh, hugs, Werel. :< Best of thoughts to you!

Embertine: Nothing like the cleansing purity of flame.

[Guest]

And it's Autumn here... coincidence? I THINK NOT!!

[Gentleman Johnny]

GAAAAAAHHHH! Apparently an hour after making a level headed and well thought out post about women being harassed in gaming, Felicia Day got doxxed like an hour later! Can we. . .I dunno. . .track the IP addresses of people in the Gamergate chat rooms and write their ISP with the pertinent logs? IRC keeps ip addresses.

[The Wisp]

GAAAAAAHHHH! Apparently an hour after making a level headed and well thought out post about women being harassed in gaming, Felicia Day got doxxed like an hour later! Can we. . .I dunno. . .track the IP addresses of people in the Gamergate chat rooms and write their ISP with the pertinent logs? IRC keeps ip addresses.

This whole gamer gate thing has been surreal. I can't think of any analogous situations in recent times.

[Guest]

And it's Autumn here... coincidence?  I THINK NOT!!

Hahaha, wooo unintentional-but-apropos name references!

[nearly_takuan]

Most "gates" start with an invented scandal, but it's amazing how quickly this one turned legitimately scandalous after it got started.

Of course, the only person I know who follows it particularly closely (and is vocally against the GG dudebros and quicker than I was to label them misogynists, hate groups, etc) has also recently been pestering me to help him figure out why another friend won't talk to him. Unfortunately I happen to know why, and it has to do with him behaving kind of creepy around her and select other women (e.g. his ex-girlfriend), but I promised her I wouldn't tell him anything about it until she is ready.

It's complicated and awful and I sometimes kind of feel bad that I want to be a friend to both of them and not take sides. And because he's just pressuring and making certain people feel uncomfortable instead of doing anything obviously dangerous, it's easier to end up on the "keep quiet" side of the moral dilemma when speaking to his current girlfriend. But for morally-bankrupt me, this isn't the agonizing part that makes this whole thing a Rant worth typing up. This isn't the Thought that pesters and festers and sits here in the comfort of my Jerklobe(s) inflicting misery on the rest of my existence.

It's that guys like this get to go on dates. Maybe not always very good dates for either party, but dates. Actual meeting-people setups where they aren't settling for Friends before anything's even gotten started. They get to start and continue romantic relationships, sometimes for years. They have partners who touch them, sometimes even willingly, as a sign of affection. Then they figuratively fuck things up, worse than I can imagine doing, and remain ludicrously tone-deaf about the entire thing, and they get to keep going.

Well since I got this far I might as well go all the way. Yeah, I do think I deserve as much of a shot as he's had. Maybe I even do think I'm better than he is. Because emotional blackmail is a really shitty thing to do and I am very proud of the fact that it would never cross my mind. So I'm arrogant and self-absorbed and look down on other people. And I hate myself. So why don't I hate everybody else? I dunno, too much effort I guess.

[Robjection]

Further to my previous, possibly-ex-friend has now sent me a five page letter detailing all the rules I have to follow to repair our friendship after his ill-timed declaration of love.  I read the letter carefully through twice, then went to buy some firelighters and ceremonially burnt it in a blaze of righteous fury in the garden.  I feel better, anyway.

I don't suppose you can remember what any of those rules were can you?

Then again, I wouldn't blame you if the feelings you got from setting the letter on fire were so great that you promptly forgot exactly what was on there.

[azazel]

GAAAAAAHHHH! Apparently an hour after making a level headed and well thought out post about women being harassed in gaming, Felicia Day got doxxed like an hour later! Can we. . .I dunno. . .track the IP addresses of people in the Gamergate chat rooms and write their ISP with the pertinent logs? IRC keeps ip addresses.

Even if you retrieved the IP adress of people making actual threats (I believe that doxxing someone might even fall under freedom of speech as long as you're not making any actual threats yourself?) ánd they weren't using a BNC you're still faced with the problem an IP adress does not correspond to a person in a court of law.

The internet is a shitty place to go after terrorists. Much too easy to hide, sadly enough.

[Guest]

Rob, they included: never ever talking to him again about my dating life, otherwise being completely honest about everything because keeping things from him was a betrayal. Also that I'm not allowed to visit him until I feel completely comfortable with our friendship again. And that if I don't feel comfortable it is actually my fault.

There was also the: "I know that writing this is unfair to you, but not writing it is unfair to me, and that's more important" bit. Paraphrasing, but only just. Gaaahhhhhh.

[reboot]

Rob, they included: never ever talking to him again about my dating life, otherwise being completely honest about everything because keeping things from him was a betrayal. Also that I'm not allowed to visit him until I feel completely comfortable with our friendship again.  And that if I don't feel comfortable it is actually my fault.

There was also the: "I know that writing this is unfair to you, but not writing it is unfair to me, and that's more important" bit.  Paraphrasing, but only just.  Gaaahhhhhh.

Not talking about your dating life with him is not unreasonable. The rest PFFFT!! Whatever. And I love the way he assumes you actually want to be friends after all of this.

[eselle28]

Rob, they included: never ever talking to him again about my dating life, otherwise being completely honest about everything because keeping things from him was a betrayal. Also that I'm not allowed to visit him until I feel completely comfortable with our friendship again.  And that if I don't feel comfortable it is actually my fault.

There was also the: "I know that writing this is unfair to you, but not writing it is unfair to me, and that's more important" bit.  Paraphrasing, but only just.  Gaaahhhhhh.

Oh dear. My first impulse is, "Wow, why would you want to be friends with this selfish asshat in the first place?" but I've had otherwise good people who I'd invested a lot in pull similar things. I'm sorry.

[nearly_takuan]

Rob, they included: never ever talking to him again about my dating life, otherwise being completely honest about everything because keeping things from him was a betrayal. Also that I'm not allowed to visit him until I feel completely comfortable with our friendship again.  And that if I don't feel comfortable it is actually my fault.

There was also the: "I know that writing this is unfair to you, but not writing it is unfair to me, and that's more important" bit.  Paraphrasing, but only just.  Gaaahhhhhh.

Not talking about your dating life with him is not unreasonable. The rest PFFFT!! Whatever. And I love the way he assumes you actually want to be friends after all of this.

I agree on its own that doesn't sound like an unreasonable request. The additional context of also you must always tell me everything makes it ridiculous, though. (Tangent: I did once ask a certain friend to not talk to me about her dating life. I had similar reasons but did not volunteer them because she'd already as good as said she didn't feel the same way. To my knowledge, there was not a great deal of additional fallout because I presented it as a request for a favor, not a Rule For Being My Friend, and there wasn't anything else attached.)

[eselle28]

I think I'm with Chris Kluwe on Gamergate: "And for the record, none of you fucking #Gamergate tools tried to dox me, even after I tore you a new one. I'm not even a tough target. Instead, you go after a woman who wrote why your movement concerns her. Fuck #Gamergate and anyone aligned with it." Though, since I'm a woman, I probably need to say it really, realy quietly if I don't want to be doxed.

[BasedBuzzed]

Dudes have been constantly getting doxxed as far as I recall(even over here in Holland an indie developer named Rami Ismael got his address posted for some anti-GG tweets). Anyway, the dude's doing an AMA on KotakuInAction, if you want to see more of his smackdowns: http://www.reddit.com/r/KotakuInAction/comments/2k3wyt/i_am_mike_cernovichs_raging_bile_erection_ama/

[eselle28]

Dudes have been constantly getting doxxed as far as I recall(even over here in Holland an indie developer named Rami Ismael got his address posted for some anti-GG tweets). Anyway, the dude's doing an AMA on KotakuInAction, if you want to see more of his smackdowns: http://www.reddit.com/r/KotakuInAction/comments/2k3wyt/i_am_mike_cernovichs_raging_bile_erection_ama/

Oh, some men have, but it seems like the bile is disproportionately being directed at women, both in terms of severity and in relation to the tone of their comments.

I'll have to check back on that AMA after he's had some time to respond. He's generally an amusing guy, so there's some good material there. The comments/questions? They've pretty much affirmed my decision to drop the "gamer" label from my self-identification and to stop defending gamers as being a diverse group of people with varied interests and social lives. If these dudes want the label, they can have it. I'll go be something else while still buying and playing video games.

[Gentleman Johnny]

GAAAAAAHHHH! Apparently an hour after making a level headed and well thought out post about women being harassed in gaming, Felicia Day got doxxed like an hour later! Can we. . .I dunno. . .track the IP addresses of people in the Gamergate chat rooms and write their ISP with the pertinent logs? IRC keeps ip addresses.

Even if you retrieved the IP adress of people making actual threats (I believe that doxxing someone might even fall under freedom of speech as long as you're not making any actual threats yourself?) ánd they weren't using a BNC you're still faced with the problem an IP adress does not correspond to a person in a court of law.

The internet is a shitty place to go after terrorists. Much too easy to hide, sadly enough.

That's true but ISPs have terms of service, too. Using your Cox account to harass someone surely violates those terms. I can't unmask these yahoos but with timestamps, Cox can or be shamed for not.

[Guest]

GAAAAAAHHHH! Apparently an hour after making a level headed and well thought out post about women being harassed in gaming, Felicia Day got doxxed like an hour later! Can we. . .I dunno. . .track the IP addresses of people in the Gamergate chat rooms and write their ISP with the pertinent logs? IRC keeps ip addresses.

Ugh. This shit's gone too far for way too long. Just ugh, is what I say to GamerGate especially in light of the accusations being not only denied but proven false. You fucking lost, GamerGate tools. Deal with it. Unless you have SOLID undeniable proof that anything wrong or unethical happened, by all means present your evidence. But if all you got is a blog post from a butt-hurt ex, then I have no idea what the hell you're doing with your life.

Felicia Day getting doxxed doesn't make me mad, but it makes me sad that these people are going out of their way to harm some poor woman's livelihood. Like WTF did she ever do to you guys?!

[BasedBuzzed]

GAAAAAAHHHH! Apparently an hour after making a level headed and well thought out post about women being harassed in gaming, Felicia Day got doxxed like an hour later! Can we. . .I dunno. . .track the IP addresses of people in the Gamergate chat rooms and write their ISP with the pertinent logs? IRC keeps ip addresses.

Ugh. This shit's gone too far for way too long. Just ugh, is what I say to GamerGate especially in light of the accusations being not only denied but proven false. You fucking lost, GamerGate tools. Deal with it. Unless you have SOLID undeniable proof that anything wrong or unethical happened, by all means present your evidence. But if all you got is a blog post from a butt-hurt ex, then I have no idea what the hell you're doing with your life.

Felicia Day getting doxxed doesn't make me mad, but it makes me sad that these people are going out of their way to harm some poor woman's livelihood. Like WTF did she ever do to you guys?!

It's Chanology all over again. That had its origin in what was essentially terrorism and also managed to cover up those roots. Taking on Scientology over internet censorship was ridiculous(and also had no clearly defined end goal), but they lashed back, and enough dirt could be dug up on them to outrage the masses, and the process escalated from there. Only when the Scientologists were utterly tired of actually trying any spectacular countermoves did it run out of fuel(1 year or so). Gawker alone has enough dirty laundry to fuel this shite for at least another month.

The encouraging part is that the tactics(vicious parodies, mass swarming of personalities until they blow their fuse, viral promotion, hiding in the mass and going after the advertisers) is not something that is the sole domain of reactionary misogynists. Imagine using the same routine on RoK and the like.

[The Wisp]

Oh man, one guy in my group therapy session today pulled the "if a girl sleeps with 100 guys, she'll probably cheat on you" argument. I shot him down, nobody else in the group seemed to agree with him.

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